I woke up in sort of a foul mood today, and coffee isn’t helping. So I’ve decided to rant rabidly about things that are bothering me.
The following are all things I’ve decided need to be crotch-kicked or dick-punched.
OCTOMOM: This crazy bitch has 6 children already (3 of which are special needs) and then has the gall to get knocked up with 8 more??? So now we the taxpayers have 14 mouths to feed for her sorry ass!! She is a walking poster woman for Eugenics!! She needs to be crotch kicked until that fucker is out of order. Oh, and the doc responsible her bellyfruit? Dick punched until it’s turned into an innie!
AMERICAN IDOL: That first group last night sucked rotten cunt! Not a single standout performance and several downright painful ones. And these singers are representative of the best talent culled from 100,000 entrants??? Really??? If this is how it’s gonna be, then let’s go ahead and karate chop their fucking throats.
REPUBLICANS: y’all didn’t bat an eye under the Bush regime when the financial industry was bailed out. Or the auto industries. But NOW you have issues with bailouts?? Yeah well fuck you all with something hard and sandpapery! Sure this bailout sucks shitty hole and it probably won’t help at all. But at least were trying something rather than jamming our thumbs up our asses! Crotch kicks all around!
STEROID USERS: Yes I realize you were basically peer pressured into using to keep your competitive edge in the face of higher demands from the fans. And to keep your ridiculous salaries flowing. But you know something? You’re all still fucking CHEATERS. And now you’ve been caught cheating. Boo fucking hoo! I would suggest dick punching all of you, but since the ‘roids have shrunk your junk, how about a good ol’ fashioned cunt kick instead you whiny-ass, lying, cheating bitches?
FACEBOOK: I hated you at “hello”. And now you want the rights to my images and anything I write? I think the only thing you have the right to is a swift kick where it counts! This makes me loathe you even more- and I didn’t think that possible. And now you are trying to backpedal? Fuck off.
And how about you readers? Anything or anyone you want to punch or kick?