Ickle Wickle Baby Reindeer

Oof.

If you’re looking for a short arc, bingeable, deeply disturbing yet hypnotic Netflix series— look no further. Baby Reindeer is for you.

Now, I tend to love psychological dramas. Like where a (mostly) sane person gets tangled up with a crazy person. Kind of like the movie Misery. And Baby Reindeer is just that.

A struggling comedian (Donny) working at a pub takes pity on a sad woman— and then she rapidly becomes a full on stalker. Only she’s a professional stalker, as she’s done it before to others. Like criminally so.

At first he’s flattered because it’s the attention he craves. And he feels genuinely sorry for her. But soon things change.

And rapidly his life becomes chaotic madness as his stalker (Martha) just invades and sort of ruins his life. Well— helps him ruin his life which he’s already kind of doing on his own.

It’s complicated.

Let’s just say that each of the 7 episodes is uncomfortable and traumatic. Especially the central episode 4, which sort of explains why Donny is fucked up and easy pickings for a stalker.

I loved the series. It’s well filmed and written. Cinematography is great. The acting is brilliant. and the story is visceral and compelling.

And supposedly true. Yikes!

My favorite of all is the stalker character Martha. She does the creepy unhinged stalker perfectly. The way she turns on a dime from sympathetic wounded person to flatterer to violent attacker to sexual deviant to racist, vulgar bigot— oof. Chills.

And that’s the thing I love. When you don’t know what emotional side you are going to get from someone at any given point. That defensive, off-balance feeling is so fascinating.

Anyway- five stars. Highly recommended.

Ickle Wickle Baby Reindeer

Oof.

If you’re looking for a short arc, bingeable, deeply disturbing yet hypnotic Netflix series— look no further. Baby Reindeer is for you.

Now, I tend to love psychological dramas. Like where a (mostly) sane person gets tangled up with a crazy person. Kind of like the movie Misery. And Baby Reindeer is just that.

A struggling comedian (Donny) working at a pub takes pity on a sad woman— and then she rapidly becomes a full on stalker. Only she’s a professional stalker, as she’s done it before to others. Like criminally so.

At first he’s flattered because it’s the attention he craves. And he feels genuinely sorry for her. But soon things change.

And rapidly his life becomes chaotic madness as his stalker (Martha) just invades and sort of ruins his life. Well— helps him ruin his life which he’s already kind of doing on his own.

It’s complicated.

Let’s just say that each of the 7 episodes is uncomfortable and traumatic. Especially the central episode 4, which sort of explains why Donny is fucked up and easy pickings for a stalker.

I loved the series. It’s well filmed and written. Cinematography is great. The acting is brilliant. and the story is visceral and compelling.

And supposedly true. Yikes!

My favorite of all is the stalker character Martha. She does the creepy unhinged stalker perfectly. The way she turns on a dime from sympathetic wounded person to flatterer to violent attacker to sexual deviant to racist, vulgar bigot— oof. Chills.

And that’s the thing I love. When you don’t know what emotional side you are going to get from someone at any given point. That defensive, off-balance feeling is so fascinating.

Anyway- five stars. Highly recommended.

Danny Does Dallas

The first gay open movie I ever watched was called Danny Does Dallas. Obviously a play on the famous Debbie Does… movie(s). I’m not exactly sure what caused me to rent this one, but I did.

Looking back- these guys are so not my type. But this was the early 90’s, so every porn actor pretty much looked like this.

And when I say rented, yes. I got a membership at a local video rental chain solely because they had a “back room”. It was behind a curtain and it was “adult entertainment themed”.

I remember the first time going back there and looking. Gosh was I nervous! More nervous than buying condoms for the first time. It felt so taboo for me to be looking at gay porn VCR titles!

In reality I probably saw the football theme and just grabbed it because it was handy. And then made a bee line to the cashier so I could get out of there as fast as possible.

I remember I also rented it like mid morning on a weekday expressly because I wanted to avoid other people. Lord, if I ran into someone I knew?? I would have died.

Anyway, I don’t remember much of the movie. Bad sets. Bad acting. Gay butt sex. That’s about it. But it was the first time I’d seen the physical act between men- and boy was it titillating!

Much later on I would figure out what I was into visually. Spoiler: it was more Ken Ryker. Mmmm… he can still get it.

But Danny was a start.

Doing Time on Maple Drive

Do you remember this movie? It was a made for TV movie about a dysfunctional family and a boy with a “secret” (spoiler: he’s gay). It came out in the very early 90’s.

I didn’t remember Jim Carrey in it…

It came out at a time when I… hadn’t yet. I was still struggling with being gay and desperately didn’t want to be- yet knew it was inevitable. So I was a “boy with a secret” too.

I remember being anxious to see this movie- yet also not wanting to watch it because I felt like it would expose me and my secret too. Like, why would I want to watch a fag film?

I did end up seeing it- but on the sly. I think I had to skulk about in order to see it and wait. Like I saw it in a rerun or something. By myself.

The conflict of the gay character wanting to commit suicide by driving his car into a light pole (or tree or whatever) really hit home emotionally. His fears were my fears. Some of his family dynamic was mine too. And I was about the same age as the protagonist.

What prompted me to remember this? Well, I saw a guy wearing a “special” shirt, and it was the CBS spinning logo that said “special” that was used to announce a made for tv movie.

And the is made me think of “after school specials”. Which made me thing of those uncomfortable “Where do babies come from?” And “My sister with Downs” shows. Which then made me think of “doing time”.

Part of me wants to watch it again to see if it holds up after all this time. I don’t remember that much about, other than it felt like Ordinary People— only gayer.

The B-52’s

As was possibly stated previously, the entire purpose for my Vegas visit was to see the B-52’s in concert. They’re all getting a bit long in the tooth, and I can’t see them performing live for much longer. So I thought I better see them while I still could.

The good? I’m glad that I saw them.

The bad? I wish I’d seen them about 15 years ago. Or more.

While killing time at a bar at the Venetian, I ran into two older couples who were also there to see the B-52’s. And we all got to talking. The other folks had seen them at least once before and we all agreed this was probably something of a last hurrah.

I had good seats- center section of the floor, about 11 rows back.

The Venetian theater is… not bad. Having not seen other Vegas theaters, I don’t have a basis for comparison. They tried to make it look old world European- but again, like Vegas, it looks fairly cheap and fake.

At the Venetian

Meh- for a rock concert I’m sure it’s fine. Although the mics for the singers weren’t the best. The band sounded great- the singers were lost a bit in the wash, especially when there was more going on musically.

The opening act was a DJ— DJ Cummerbund. He specializes in mashups, and I loved his set. All these 70’s-80’s-90-s mashes with high energy.

Unfortunately I don’t think the crowd quite knew what to do with him. I think he was there to get everyone on their feet and jamming/dancing, but the crowd was older, mostly straight, and fairly stoic. Everyone just sat.

Concert started at 8:30 on the dot. The DJ played 30 minutes. There was perhaps 10 minutes between and then the B-52’s took the stage.

Here the crowd sort of got into it. On the floor about 2/3 the crowd go on their feet. 1/3 still just sat. This made it weird because I was standing but I also didn’t want to block the view of folks behind me.

Awkwaaaaaard.

The balcony folks just sat the entire time.

Mesopotamia

They played a lot of their older stuff. The set as I recall:

• Planet Claire
• Lava
• Mesopotamia
• 52 Girls
• Gimme Back My Man
• Dance this Mess Around
• Private Idaho
• Roam
• Deadbeat Club
• Legal Tender (encore)
• Rock Lobster (finale encore)

I think I’m missing one or two songs— maybe. The primary set was maaaaaybe an hour long. Then a 3 song encore. I was out of there by 10:30.

This was about as hyped as they got.

If you see a faded sign…

While a good set of songs, I much prefer their stuff from Whammy onward. And they did nothing from the last two albums or Bouncing off the Satellites. And no “Song for a Future generation” or “Whammy”. No “Queen of Las Vegas (a bit of a miss there).

And they didn’t do my favorite— Wig.

Energetically I was hoping for… more. They were really subdued onstage— sort of like they were just damn tired. They were vocally ok (especially Kate), but Cindy was noticeably getting rougher. and they all just sort of stood there.

Not a lot of exuberance or fun. Almost no crowd interaction. Just… flat.

Fred disappeared after the first 3 or so numbers and was gone for like 30 minutes. Then he was back for the last part of the concert.

It was sort of a weird concert. Half party, half subdued. Tinged with melancholy. Off energy. I left it feeling… I don’t know.

Am I glad I saw them? Absolutely.

Do I wish I’d seen them more in their prime? And at more of a rock venue?

Absolutely.

Thoughts on Las Vegas

So, this past Thursday I flew to Las Vegas for a 4 day get away— mostly to see the B-52’s. I haven’t been to Vegas since the early 90’s, so… it’s been a minute.

Initial impression?

It’s trashy.

I think the verdict is still out of if it’s good trashy or bad trashy. Probably a bit of column A, a bit of column B.

It’s just… seedy. Even the nice hotels feel kind of grimy. And the less nice hotels? 😬 It’s like they’ve tried to make everything pretty and glamorous, but it’s all so fake. And obviously so.

Vegas reminds me of those YouTube makeup vids where a real butterface girl slathers on foundation and contouring and eye makeup and false eyelashes and she looks pretty when done— but you know what’s underneath.

I was also surprised that there is smoking in the casinos. I’m not sure why that came as a shock, but it did. Every casino just reeked of cigarette smoke. It made my eyes water every time.

And the pot smoke.

So much marijuana smell everywhere.

Lending to the trashy atmosphere is the Vegas clientele. So much white trash everywhere. Loud, obnoxious white couples, bros, hoes, bridal parties, etc. (There was also the black trash contingent too). the room next to mine had a couple with their lovely screaming children. Screaming and crying. Like a lot.

I almost called the front desk.

Vegas really seems to cater to old people who like to smoke and gamble— and young folk who like to drink and do drugs and paaaaartay.

The casinos are also maddening in that they deliberately make them like mazes. It’s impossible to find your way through to get outside (no windows) and they’re noisy and chaotic. Just walking through them made my skin itch.

I made a point to bee line to any Vegas blvd exit and walked outside, even in the heat. But damn- just like the casinos themselves, walking anywhere in Vegas is a chore. No straightforward ways to get places, and everything is a longer walk than you think.

Fun fact- did you know that there really aren’t any mainstream banks or ATMs on the strip (or within a mile)? I know because I checked. All the strip ATMs are third party money makers. Gross. So I walked over a mile to a Wells Fargo on Friday morning.

Lastly, Vegas is expensive. Food. Drinks. Shows. Rooms. Prostitutes. Everything has a dollar attached and it’s exorbitant.

I will say this: it’s easy to get laid in Vegas. The apps and the digital age have made finding dick very easy. And since what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas— the D appeared to be plentiful.

Overall, Vegas is not the town for me- but it serves its purpose. I’ll talk more about the B-52’s tomorrow.

Vegas, Baby!

Tomorrow I am flying off to Las Vegas, for a 4 day vacay/weekend.

Vegas, you say? But that’s not your normal gay destination type city. It’s not Palm Springs, Key West, Provincetown, San Francisco, etc. Why Vegas?

Well- to see the B-52’s of course!

Many months ago, I got the idea that I need to see the B-52’s in concert. I’ve always loved them and if I have a “band” from my formative years, they would be it.

I have never been a “band” guy. Not even when all my friends in high school were going bonkers for Van Halen or Yaz or Pet Shop Boys or Pat Benetar. I didn’t grow up having much of a desire to see anyone in concert, and I don’t tend to have groups or performers that I’m all fangirl about. I appreciate songs, not artists.

Generally.

But for some reason I have always liked the B-52’s. Definitely a college band for me. Their music brings up fond memories of dorm parties, frat parties, drinking, dancing, friendships, etc. This is about the time when Love Shack hit big, but in college we skewed to Rock Lobster and Planet Claire, too.

Plus, they fit my vibe- if I have “a vibe”. Decent musical complexity, fun, quirky, good hooks, etc. Not your run of the mill pop stuff. More Alt.

Side note: I’ve also seen REM, They Might Be Giants, Violent Femmes, Cake, Bloodhound Gang, Weezer… so you can see where my musical tastes lie.

Anyway, for a group that I appreciate, I’ve never seen them live. And they’re getting… older. So I figured I should make this happen if I was going to.

So I hopped online and looked for concert dates. Which is when I discovered they have a sort of mini residency at the Venetian. And a few clicks later I have a pretty decent seat. And a hotel. And a flight.

I’ll be seeing them Friday night. I’m kind of excited! Of course I’m trying to temper my expectations; I just hope it’s as fun as I want it to be. With the songs I want to hear.

If they don’t do “Wig” I’ll be disappointed.

Mom’s 80th

It was my mom’s 80th birthday this past Friday. Naturally I was down there to help celebrate.

There was some initial talk about doing a party for her and inviting friends and doing all the things- but mom didn’t seem too keen on this idea. she much preferred a low key thing, which was fine with me. I honestly had no earthly idea how to plan anything for her.

How do I wrangle her different friend groups? Where do we do it? And how do I keep her from getting too thckered out? Mom has about 1.5 hours in the gas tank before she’s exhausted.

She had friends come by on Wednesday for a small party. And someone else came by Thursday for her. And she got bouquets of flowers and lots of card, FB wishes, etc.

I picked her up on Friday, took her for a mani/pedi, and then cooked her a steak dinner at the house that evening. I had also made her favorite: yellow cake with chocolate fudge frosting. She also had a visit from two different sets of friends that day.

While at the house I mowed and picked up, cut down the dead pampas grass, did laundry, dishes, cleaned, etc.

We spend the night on Friday at the house, then on Saturday cousin Teresa came over and I made brunch for us all. We had a good long visit and then I got mom back to the retirement home by 4pm. Then it was dinner and I was in the road back to Minneapolis.

I think she had a decent birthday. At least I hope she did.

Missed Eclipse

Welp- I didn’t do my eclipse chasing trip, and I’m kinda bummed that I didn’t. I feel like I really missed out on an experience.

There were lots of reasons. Weather/clouds/unpredictability was a factor- although I was always planning the Illinois to Indiana corridor (or flying to Cleveland), which I guess had pretty decent viewing. But there were other things too.

Like trying to plan and prepare something for my mom’s 80th birthday which is tomorrow.

And having an all day chamber chorus event on Saturday the 6th, which put a crimp into travel.

And running out of time to have the FJ kitted out for travel and sleep.

And having my Vegas trip to see the B-52’s on the books for next week.

And then there was just the fact that I wasn’t excited for it. Mainly because I wasn’t wild about being alone for it all. The drive. The experience. Etc.

So, I just decided to scrub the whole thing. Which has lead to FOMO regret. Especially after seeing all the pics and stuff from folks.

Oh well. I can always fly to Spain for the next one.

Missed Eclipse

Welp- I didn’t do my eclipse chasing trip, and I’m kinda bummed that I didn’t. I feel like I really missed out on an experience.

There were lots of reasons. Weather/clouds/unpredictability was a factor- although I was always planning the Illinois to Indiana corridor (or flying to Cleveland), which I guess had pretty decent viewing. But there were other things too.

Like trying to plan and prepare something for my mom’s 80th birthday which is tomorrow.

And having an all day chamber chorus event on Saturday the 6th, which put a crimp into travel.

And running out of time to have the FJ kitted out for travel and sleep.

And having my Vegas trip to see the B-52’s on the books for next week.

And then there was just the fact that I wasn’t excited for it. Mainly because I wasn’t wild about being alone for it all. The drive. The experience. Etc.

So, I just decided to scrub the whole thing. Which has lead to FOMO regret. Especially after seeing all the pics and stuff from folks.

Oh well. I can always fly to Spain for the next one.