49 and feelin’…

Fine, I guess.

It’s so weird to find myself in my last year of my 40’s. I don’t necessarily feel 49, but there it is. Nearly 50. Half a century.

It’s a mix of accomplishment and depression. I’ve done a pretty good job of making it this far. I have a condo I love, a cool car and make a decent living. I enjoy my musical outlets and have a decently rich life.

But.

With each passing year (especially since 47) I find myself keenly aware of my singleness, and how little time is left to rectify the situation. Fifty looms like a point of no return, like once I cross that threshold I’ll be permanently damaged goods.

Oh well.

I really didn’t want this post to be maudlin; I wanted to talk about the surprises I got yesterday.

Even though it was my birthday, I didn’t really have any plans. Because of this, I agreed to host a small gathering to welcome our new artistic director for the chorus.

It was good– people ate and drank and chatted and Luna wasn’t really freaked out too much. And even though this was a welcome party, I got two gifts:

First– this cake:

One of my private joys is when people have birthdays, I post horrible cake pictures on their Facebook page. One of my favorites is a “vagina birth” cake. Usually there are turds coming out along with the baby.

It was my hope that someday someone would know me well enough to make me a horrible, inappropriate birthday cake.

Yesterday was that day. Two friends of mine made me my very own vagina cake!! It was funfetti and strawberry!

I also got this:

It’s an old RCA disc of my favorite movie, Flash Gordon! The players don’t really exist anymore, as this was the 1980’s “high tech” before DVD’s. But for kitsch value (and as I collect Flash Gordon stuff) this is a perfect gift for me.

So unexpected.

So many feels when I opened it.

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty invisible, but with these two gifts I felt seen. And important. And loved.

It was a nice feeling. And a very fine birthday all things considered.

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Saturday.

I’m currently feeling a bit– off. Not fully under the weather but not 100%. Can’t tell if it’s allergies or what.

So, I need a pick me up.

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A Good Day

Yesterday was kind of a weird day, but a good day.

I woke up kind of tired (still not sleeping peacefully because I am worried about Luna) and this started my day off grumpily.

Although the weather is beautiful and my bike to work was great, my mood darkened as soon as I walked in and was met with a barrage of manufacturing quality issues. Seriously, I hadn’t even made it to my office yet when I was blitzed– I hate that.

Then, when I was finally at my desk I decided to plug in my AirPods to recharge them– only to discover that they weren’t in my backpack. And they didn’t show up on my find my phone app.

This pretty much set the tone for the morning.

But then…

I got upper management to get involved and make a decision about the quality issues. Shipping got the material out and We helped a customer get much needed material (and avoided a huge Sales issue).

The afternoon got quiet and I was able to get work done at my desk.

And since my birthday is coming up, I thought I’d see about taking Monday off. But I wanted to see how much time I had left, so I logged into our PTO tracker. Imagine my surprise when I saw I’d only used 5 days all year so far– AND that there appeared to be too much left!

Since we switched from vacation to a PTO system several years back, the whole “number of days” and accrual system had been a mess and not well communicated. Well, I had my 10th anniversary at the company last August and January marked the new vacation year.

Where I got an additional 5 PTO days added.

Which I didn’t know about.

Until 8 months into the year. 🙄

So I took next Monday AND next Friday off.

On the ride to my gym I saw my gym-crush riding a cool, all black, single gear bike and he looked over at me as he passed by on the cross street. I didn’t know he rode a bike, let alone a hipster bike! *swoon*

I got to the gym and asked the front desk people “By any chance did anyone turn in some AirPods?”

“Oh yeah! Yesterday! Let me get them for you.”

We did the “send a tone” thing and proved they were mine! Which saved me from having to buy a new set.

And then I got home and Luna had another good day and really seems herself again. She’s eating and drinking fine, using her litter, and being playful. (I think she’s been fine for several days now, but I just now worry whenever I can’t see her or when she lays down on the floor. It’s like I expect her to be rambunctious all the time.)

Yeah. All in all a good day.

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Luna Scare

So on Thursday evening I had a bit of a scare with my little Luna girl. She was having trouble going to the bathroom.

She is normally a very present cat– always around me or within sight lines. Well, all of a sudden I couldn’t find her. A brief search found her in her litter box– trying to go, but taking a long time.

Then it happened again. And again. And then I caught her trying to squat in her car bed. (Only a few dribbles came out).

So I start freaking.

I didn’t get much sleep Thursday night, as I was sick with worry. Luna wasn’t crying or anything, but she was a bit off. And not really peeing.

I took Friday off and paced around until my vet opened. I was lucky and got her in right away.

After examinations and symptom review, it looks like she has a UTI (or bladder inflammation). No stones, crystals, or blockages though. So we got her on antibiotic pills, and I got her a drinking fountain to encourage greater water intake.

I was still freaking out a bit on Saturday when she seemed a bit too lethargic in the morning. But I gave the antibiotics a chance and by Sunday she had her pep back.

I have also switched to all wet food for the time being, which I’m supplementing with water to up her h2o intake. I plan to do this at least until we finish the antibiotics.

This was Luna’s first trip to my vet and my first since Phoebe died. Let’s just say I’m glad they left us alone for a bit so they didn’t see me crying.

I’m just glad miss Luna is back to her cantankerous, feisty self again.

Us napping on Saturday.

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Woofy Wednesday Bonanza!

A mid-week pick-me-up.

Sometimes I don’t mind longer hair…..

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Won’t You Tell Me How To Get…

How to get to Sesame Street?

I love it when childhood innocence is perverted into something dark and funny. It brings me joy.

Yesterday I stumbled across these:

So. Dank.

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Tennis Anyone?

I have a new tennis crush. His name is Benoit Paire. A French tennis player on the circuit.

He’s ever so dreamy!

Gosh I want to put my beard on his beard!

Is that his “O” face?

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August…

Recently, I heard August referred to as “the Sunday of Summer”. And that’s a fairly accurate statement when you think about it.

The weather is still good and there’s still outdoor play time left, but there’s this undercurrent of urgency. The desire to wring out the last of the good times while we still can.

The days are getting noticeably shorter. Back to school is right around the corner. Drum Corps championships are happening and kids are starting marching band rehearsals. Football season is ramping up.

And the last good holiday (Labor Day) is nigh.

After that, hallowe’en and thanksgiving hit and then it’s winter again and we’re all hating life.

Yup, the Sunday of Summer. And we’re a week into it.

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Furrr-iday!

Cheers to the freakin’ weekend!

Cuff me, pig!

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LunaKitty

Just a quick update on my roommate: she’s cute.

I think she’s getting more comfortable living with me and more of her personality is coming out. She’s playful- but feisty!

She lover her catnip toys– flipping them in the air with her claws then pouncing on them. And she has taken to kneading my bedspread (or the sheep pelt on my footstool).

She has been on my lap, here’s proof:

But she doesn’t do it often.

She also let me pet her and rest my hand on her during a nap on Saturday:

For a lot of the nap, my hand was resting on her side.

Also, she really seems to love her new cat cave/bed. She even pushed it out into the living room so she could lounge in it and still see where I was:

Some of her favorite pastimes include watching the laundry in the washing machine and bopping my nose when she thinks it’s time for me to get up and feed her.

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