In this time of economic gloom and doom, it behooves us all to hunt for bargains whenever possible. And when a bargain isn’t readily apparent… simply flirt out one!
Kyle and I went to the Maul of Amerika (M.O.A.) yesterday to do some essential shopping.
It’s not that I particularly enjoy this mall, as it is chockers with children and families and white trash tourists. But it DOES have the area’s only “Nordstrom Rack”. And after you blitz ‘the rack’, you are in close proximity to all sorts of other department stores and such.
Kyle was looking for jeans and luggage and black clothing– none of which he found. I was looking for brown Doc Martins for work (which I got for less than 60 bucks!).
And I found a hoodie.
I can hear the snickering and I know what you are thinking. You are thinking I am far too old to be sporting a hoodie. And hoodies are probably going “out” of fashion in like another minute or so. But that doesn’t change the fact that I wanted one and that I don’t have any zip-up, long sleeve stuff for Fall.
After an exhaustive search (and much high fashion posing, which makes Kyle roll his eyes at me) I found a fairly suitable Marc Ecko “cut and sew” brand hoodie. I nearly gave in and purchased it, but in the end I thought it was too light grey- thus washing out my color.
I look best in darker hues.
And then I remembered the GAP.
Yeah, I know- I shouldn’t be shopping there. The GAP is really a transitional store for those beyond Abercrombie age, yet not quite at Munsingwear age. But I recalled that the GAP did have nice, unembellished, plain color hoodies. And I rather liked the faded burgundy one I saw there a few weeks ago.
Long story longer, we trekked to the GAP where I found the hoodie in my size. This is what it looks like… only burgundier:
And given all the Sale signs scattered about the store- especially in the area where the hoodie was, I figured not only was I scoring the hoodie that I wanted, but I was also getting a deal.
Well…
I took my prize to the cashier (a 30 something gay man with really tragic hair– think black shoe polish + marine cut – hair at crown).
GAP Gay: (smiling broadly) Hey! Sorry to have kept you waiting! You find everything ok today?
cb: You didn’t keep me waiting. And yeah- I found this killer hoodie. It’s exactly what I wanted.
GG: Glad to hear it.
cb: (smiling medium) And I think it’s on sale, which makes it even awesomer! (the awesomer part was said with the requisite valley inflection)
(GAP Gay rings up the sale. It rings up as $49.50.)
GG: Hmmmm. It’s ringing up full price.
cb: (face falling, puppydog eyes) But it was in that alcove where all the sales signs are. <sigh> Oh well.
GG: Hold on a sec…
GAP Gay flounces out from behind the counter and dashes over to the hoodies. He comes back after about a minute.
GG: Here, let’s try this…
(he rings it up again… this time for 29.99)
cb: So it WAS on sale!
GG: (smiling conspiratorily) Weeeeeeell…
cb: (winking) Gotcha. Thanks!
GG: No problem! Have a great day!
cb: I will now! You too!
Now, I really don’t think of that as flirting by any stretch (although Kyle accused me of it). And, truth be told, I was looking pretty ragged yesterday. But if that can get me 40% off– what the FUCK have I been doing all this time??
I TOTALLY would’ve given the BMW guy a hummer to get 40% off THAT bill!
Mangina Monologues 
It’s a wonderful plan, really. I doubt I could have pulled it off under similar circumstances. Kudos to you. Kyle can roll his eyes until he’s looking out his ears.
Fuck YEAH! I would have totally done the same thing! Always, always, always flirt your way to cheaper prices (we’ll ignore the “cheap” part there)… I do it when I can get away with it as I am a lowly government worker who gets paid in beads. Nice hoodie…would love to see it unzipped ’bout halfway down… woof
Dear, dear, whoring yourself out for a $20 discount! Attaboy cb! I always knew you were a smart guy.
and after you dissed him for his tragic hair…. don’t you feel ashamed… wait, what am I thinking….
I wasn’t aware a person could be “too old” for hoodies. Graphic tees and mini skirts, sure. But hoodies? Harumph…
But I heard you’ll give ANYONE a hummer, just on principle… 😛
I’m with you, its not really flirting. You’d react the same if the cashier who gave you the discount were female, right?
BTW – you’re NOT too old to wear a hoodie or to shop at the Gap.
Mark 🙂
You’re going to look so HAWT wearing that hoodie with no shirt and jeans. You’ve got some nice chest-fur and a nice chest too.
Let’s face it: your an older hottie – ain’t nothing wrong with that. And you go flirt all you want boy – especially when you do it in front of straight men buying their yearly allotment of Chinos for the year, and then they get nothing! Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha “Yeah, what do you want?”
Selling a piece of your soul (to start) for a mere $20 off???? I’ve never been prouder.
Flirtin’ your way to a “family discount”…? You ARE a man of many talents! Now raise your sights and go practice your wiles at a higher-class emporium.
Wait is there an age limit for the places you can and can’t shop, because I’m afraid that just isn’t going to work with me. I intend to be pushing my seventies and rocking out in what the kids wear. Mmmmm, maybe not, but I’m mad for a hoodie CB, so I call dibs on peeling you out of that one 😉
I’ve always found flirting advantageous, when I was in customer service my CSI scores were always higher if I flirted, it doesn’t matter if they were straight men or old women, everyone loves being flirted with!
Wish I could do that, but then you have to have the looks to go with it, huh? lol.
I love hoodies!! The Gap is scarry, but not as bad as Old Navy (nasty store). You are right you hit 30 and you have no business in Abercrombie, unless you are taking your kids there to shop!
MOA has a Lacoste store…..I get wood just walking by that store!!!!!
Why is it when you say “Hoodie” it sounds dirty!