There’s this meme thing, or list thing, or whatever going about the internets concerning the 25 things that make a Gentleman a gentleman. Uggh, right?
Is the term “gentleman” even fucking USED anymore except by MCs?
Anyway here’s the original list. It is SO outdated (in my opinion):
- Change a flat tire
- Tie a bow tie
- Carve a turkey
- Open a bottle of champagne
- Change the oil in a car
- If asked, you know the name of a good barber
- Have a tailor who knows your measurements
- Tie a bowline, clove hitch, and a square knot
- Chop wood
- Shoot a rifle
- Make a dry martini
- Keep a checkbook balanced
- BBQ
- Lay a fire
- Change a fuse
- Polish shoes
- Have the ability to read stock quotes in the business section
- Keep score at a baseball game
- Jump-start a car
- Know how to throw a punch
- Own a tuxedo
- Know how to judge a new wine
- Do your own taxes at least once in your life
- Know how to play poker
- Carry a handkerchief
Are they 4 rlz with this list?? Yeah, this was the “Gentleman’s List”… back in 1950. Sure there are still some skillz that could be viewed as relevant today, but not many. That’s why I’m proposing my own, slightly more modern version.
THE NEW & IMPROVED ‘GENTLEMAN’S LIST’ (for all men, but especially applicable if you are gay):
- Own a Roadside Emergency kit with a can of Fix-a-Flat
- Own one good, dark suit (preferably designer)
- Know how to mix a Cosmo
- Actually enjoy and appreciate beer
- Know how to hook up all your home A/V equipment
- Have a personal email account and be able to access it at any time
- Know how to order a pizza online
- Be able to cook at least one “signature” meal
- Have a smart phone with texting capabilities (and know how to text)
- Practice yoga
- Have a 401K or some sort of savings plan
- Recycle
- Drive a fuel efficient car
- Have a passport with at least one stamp in it
- Read at least one Pulitzer Prize winning novel
- Completed a New York Times crossword
- Have at least one song you can Karaoke
- Know CPR
- Know how to swim
- Ride a bike on a regular basis
- Participate in at least one 5K run for charity
- Use a check card instead of physically writing a check (esp. for groceries)
- Prepare your taxes electronically (at least once)
- Know how to play Texas Hold’em
- Own a cool pair of sunglasses
Of course this list is totally subjective and open to additions. Y’all got any good suggestions for things that are essential to the 21st Century “Guy”??
Mangina Monologues 
“Lay a fire”?
How about “lay a fiery-hot Latino”?
-Attempt to make your own beer at least once
-Lay a fire *oldie but goodie
-Use Photoshop
-Maximize the efficiency of your DVR
-Manicure a lawn
-Play at least one song on the guitar
-Restore an old piece of furniture
-Contribute or manage a blog
-reserved and willing to hear both sides of the story
-pensive
-at ease in pretty much any situation (football game or drag show)
A gentleman should know how to:
– Produce an orgasm for your partner first. (at least once)
I’m liking the new list! Very good of you… and not dirty at all (the biggest surprise!)
-hold a door open for anyone, not just women
-accept that your spouse is right when you know arguing will only cause a 48 hr fight.
Yeah, your list is much more relevant to the 21st century. I’d add just one more thing:
Know that it is not sexist to hold a door open for a woman.
Mark 🙂
A gentleman should know how to:
Put on a condom, using only his mouth.
I can do 18 things on the first list. I can only do 7 on your list (which I think is a very good modern list, btw). I must be an old fashioned kind of gentleman.
I am such a bad gay.
Apologize when squirting cum in his partner’s eye.
A few on my list:
Admit he is wrong
Grow herbs
Know a second language
Know how to coordinate colors
Own lots of shoes
A gentleman also
Keeps a secret when asked.
Remembers your name.
Warns before blowing a load.
Absolutely concur with “Warn before blowing a load.”
I’d add:
Know how to re-attach shirt buttons, and does so
Exercise elegant restraint in manscaping
Only blog about sex when partners consent or are truly anonymous (which is a variation on keeping a secret, but without needing to be asked)
Great update! I did the original meme now maybe I’ll use your list as a folow-up and see if I’m more of a gentleman than I was before.
I don’t think very many of these things have anything to do with being a gentleman, but then again, neither do many on the first list.
What being a gentleman is about (at least as I see it) is doing your part to make sure that everyone around you feels comfortable and valued. In other words, you don’t carry a handkerchief because it’s what your dad did. It’s so that if someone is crying, you have some comfort to offer them.
That said, I think your list is very indicative of a self-sufficient man.
Ok, I’ve done all the first list, except the handkerchief thing…snot in my pocket is NOT a good thing (thank you Martha). Then I moved on to the second list: no yoga, or 5k (Charity participation, check), and poker (or the allure, really) escapes me. Soooo, I need to bend, run and gamble…Good to know!!!
Sadly, I didn’t do much better on yours than I did on the original.
Sigh.