In excelcis Deo!
So. As many of you know, there was a gay chorus retreat this past weekend where I auditioned for a “solo” of sorts. The results of the auditions were announced last night during chorus rehearsal. Aaaaaaand…
*** drum roll ***
I was selected to sing the Baritone part for the duet/trio in John Rutter’s Gloria.
This is in the second movement, toward the end. It starts with high tenor singing a solo “Miserere Nobis”. Then Tenor 2 and Bari (me) sing a duet on the “Sucipe deprecationam nostram”. Then trio on the final “miserere Nobis”.
I’m a little surprised, very excited and a LOT nervous. My tummy went immediately all oogy with the announcement. And rather than feeling an enormous sense of pride at being chosen, I mostly felt… Exposed. Self-conscious. Even a little embarrassed.
Why was I selected? Was I the best or was it “we want to encourage new guys to audition and not just always give it to the same people”? Was it politics? Was it because the director is a bit sweet on me?
And will the other auditioners hate me now? Will they be all judgy and stabby? And will the baritones hate me because I’m a bass and i snaked one of their solos?
Sigh. I can never just enjoy something. I always have to analyze and overthink.
Now I will say that more than one person came up to me (baritones, even) and told me before the results were announced that they hoped I would be selected. And after the announcement the baritone section leader said to me, “When I heard your audition, I knew you were going to get it.”
So, there is that.
Now I just have to worry about doing myself proud and being above reproach every time I sing in front of the chorus.
I will say this, though. “Miserere Nobis” is my favorite liturgical Latin to sing. It feels good in the mouth and the meaning of the words always lends gravitas to the music.