The Oscars were “Idoled”

Man, did the Academy Awards suck last night or what?  God it was so fucking boring!  And eye-rolling.  And cringe-inducing. 

Let’s face it.  They stunk on ice.

The show was so bad this year, that I think I’m done watching the Academy Awards.  It’s been “American Idoled” for me.

Remember when American Idol used to have some talented singers and you sorta cared about them?  And then a few years ago, they decided to mix up the format a bit, and the singers basically sucked, and the wrong one’s won, and people stopped caring?

Yeah, I blame Taylor Hicks and that whole fucking Soul Patrol crapfest.

And now the Academy Awards have gone the same route.  They “Taylor Hicks’d” the show by choosing James Franco:

Yeah, I still want to trap a certain part of his anatomy in my cave for 127 hours.  But the dude SUCKED DIRTY ASS as a host.

(Btw?  Nice Vuitton manpurse, Mr. Assistant Douche.)

Speaking of sucking dirty ass— why the fuck did they put James in a Marilyn dress?  It served no purpose and was NOT funny.  It was awkward.

At least when Jake Gyllenhall wore a dress, he belted out “And I Am Telling You”.

I think the most awkward moment of the night, though, goes to ‘Strokey’ Douglas presenting the Best Supporting Actress awards.

It was like watching Dick Clark do slo-mo “witty” banter with Gayboy Seacrest.

It was long and uncomfortable to watch him slur and drool his way through his bit.  And even more cringe-inducing to watch him perv at all the pretty young girls.  I was honestly reduced to yelling at the TV, shouting “Wrap it the fuck UP, already!”

I swear Douglas was gonna show up in the “In Memoriam” segment later if he delayed announcing the award one more goddamn time.

On a more positive note: Anne Hathaway.

Stunning.  Gorgeous.  Flawlessly dressed.  Belted out a song dissing Hugh Jackman.  And pulled off the hosting duties with aplomb (yeah, I used it in a sentence).

I think this was my favorite look of the night for her:

Simple.  Flattering.  And the color was completely eye-stunning.

But that’s it.  No huge surprises.  No big upsets.  No excitement.  No drama.  And the show was boring as fuck.

I don’t think I’ll be back next year.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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9 Responses to The Oscars were “Idoled”

  1. Mark, née Fuzz says:

    I must be the only homo on the planet who just does not get James Franco. He does not make my naughty bits tingle in the least. Nor do I get the Oscars. But try as I might to ignore them, I did stumble upon the show during the Douglas dribble fest. Awkward!

  2. Cubby says:

    “And the show was boring as fuck.” You can say that again. Ugh.

  3. Bill J says:

    How quaint! People still watch the Oscars.

  4. Kurt says:

    This is my favorite re-cap of the Oscars! So accurate!

  5. pianoman6398 says:

    I agree, boring as hell. Did I fall asleep or did they never announce the best song winner? Why they have to keep dragging out these worn out, stroked out, partially senile actors, just let us remember them in their prime not when they need diapers. Actually I wanted to totally molest Christian Bale…hot little hairy stud!!! James Franco is alright, but he looked better, unshaven and wasted in 127 hours.
    They really need to pick up the pace on this show and bring back some of the better masters of ceremony and not try to appeal to the teenage viewers. Bring back the Aussie STUD, Hugh Jackman, now he makes me wet myself 🙂

  6. DavDidIt says:

    the old guy was awkwardly funny. I half expected them to have security remove.
    Agree the franco dress was a WTF? However, I did enjoy seeing him in the white unitard – it did so caress his lovely backside..

  7. BosGuy says:

    I really only watch the red carpet bit. This year I turned down the volume for most of that so I wouldn’t have to listen to the inane chitter chatter while I watched people stroll by. As always there were some really beautiful men and women. However, I think my favorite was the surprise hunk that showed up on Scarlett Johansson’s arm – turns out he’s gay and her agent.

  8. Dirk says:

    Re: Anne Hathaway.

    I don’t get the appeal.

  9. Rick/CJ says:

    I agree with everything you said. I’m glad to hear it from someone younger than me too. I start to think it’s because I’m getting older that these shows have lost my interest. Of course, having these people shoved down your throat for months before the show what can we expect. Franco is just plain squirrelly. No charisma at all. But I’d f*#K him.

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