The Trouble with Madonna

Or is it “M-dollah”?  I get so confused these days.

With good ol’ Madge back in the publie “eye” as of late, it has given me time to examine how I feel about her.  And the verdict isn’t good.

Truth be told, I do this every time another one of her albums drops (except the American Life one which came and went before I even knew she had crapped it out).  The height of my Madonna-lovin’ came with “Ray of Light”.  Yet with each successive album my affinity for Madonna diminishes.

Don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate her talent.  What gifts she lacks in the vocal department she MORE than makes up for in the shameless yet brilliant self promotion department.

Besides, how can I not like her?  I’m gay and the Madonna Pathos is one of the cornerstones of your “Coming Out” box.  (Along with the guide to choosing appropriate window treatments, a box set of Anne Rice novels, and the video on how to dance with your arms above shoulder level.)

That being said, I feel the need to offer up some much needed criticism of the old (material) girl:

FIX YOUR GODDAMN EYE MAKEUP.

Hell, fix ALL your makeup!  I mean, Jesus wept folks!  She’s got more than enough money to burn a wet mule.  Why does she insist on appearing in public as if a cat just spritzed her face?  What look is she going for here precisely– Clockwork Orange?

While she’s at it, she might also think about sopping up some of that oil.  Christ, she looks like Cameron Diaz!

Between Madge and Cameron, I think we have an untapped oil reserve that could potentially solve our growing energy needs.  Just a few donated blotter pads and ANWAR would be safe for another generation.

This is a woman who has set music and fashion trends for decades.  DECADES people!  And this is how she appears in public??  Like she just finished up a 3 hour Bikram yoga session and ran a 5K to get to the press party.

I’m sorry, but I expect more from the Queen of Pop.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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18 Responses to The Trouble with Madonna

  1. Rich says:

    You’re right CB, she is a legend. As brilliant marketer and a self-promoter as she is, she also lives her life not (seeming) to care what other people think. Or maybe she just does things she wants and those things make people think (about her). The “work” on the face is good and has a killer bod, but the hair/makeup does make you wonder if she consulted her gays for a check-up from the neck-up.

    Can I take it that you won’t be going to Madge’s 50th birthday concert in Central Park this summer? 🙂

  2. romach says:

    I do like a lot of her music, hence to say I really liked a lot of the earlier stuff. I think from shes moved to the UK though, she has let herself go a bit. That doesn’t say much for the UK then does it? *giggle*

  3. joe to hell says:

    i love the bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    listen she is 50 – what is she supposed to look like

    i only think my bad thoughts- i just dont say them aloud

  4. Ray Ray says:

    Honey, if I go out in public looking like anything close to that when I’m 50, I’ll be thanking the Gods for their mercy. I just won’t do it with a blonde color job.

  5. voenixrising says:

    I dunno…I think she looks damn good for a broad of nearly 50. We’ve grown up together, and I honestly don’t have a bad thing to say about her.

  6. cb says:

    Oooo- I just KNEW I’d hit a nerve with this post! The gays just can’t stomach badmouthing Mrs. Ritchie.

    Hee hee!

  7. Alex says:

    I love her, too, for being a brass-balled bitch who became filty rich by her own efforts! Her music is heavily represented in my workout playlist, and I never get tired of it. Like she should give a f*ck what we think of her makeup and hair color? That’s easy to fix. Body-wise, she and Tina Turner are inspirations–just go to Wal-Mart and check out the other 50-something year old women. Or men. (shudders)

  8. Erik says:

    This will get my gay card revoked AND probably get me a lot of hate mail… but I never cared for Madonna or her “Music”. She is a good business person, or at least has a great one thinking for her.

    While I’m confessing (not on the dance floor!), I can’t stand Cher either. Maybe both of them are “pre” me… or maybe my appreciation of music isn’t where it should be for gay culture.

  9. kyle says:

    i showed your post to rudy by the way, he said her makeup was actually really good – highlighted the good stuff, and hid the bad stuff.

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  11. Ray Ray says:

    Hey mangina man, what the fuk is up w/your blog not letting me post a comment w/my fab face on the avatar? do i have to be member of the club or something? that’s booshit!

  12. brettcajun says:

    HOW FUCKING DARE YOU insult our Majesty!!!! I have sworn my life to Madge. Pack your bags bitch. The Madge Troop Brigade is on their way right now to put you under house arrest. Just wait until they employ their torture techniques of putting your fat ass on the treadmill. Bwahaha! EG

    Brettcajun

  13. voenixrising says:

    LOL @ Brett! You GO girl!

  14. Dave says:

    In my head, for some reason, I read this entire post in Truman Capote’s voice. It just seemed to fit. Try it everyone! It really works!

  15. Mark says:

    I’m with you, cb. I appreciate Madonna, moreso for her brilliant business sense than her vocals. But I am not all up in her Kool-Aid like most gays.

    Mark 🙂

  16. RG says:

    I love Madge simply because she pushed out a big steamy dump on the corporate heads of Pepsi over the Like A Prayer video which never aired, but she still got paid.

    I like her earlier music, but hate her acting, if you want to call it that.

  17. 42 says:

    I can’t believe this woman still generates commentary in 2008.

  18. Junk Thief says:

    If I “admire” her at all, it’s that she is capable of making money by dropping the kids off at the pool every year or so. Vapid, witless, wily greed is just so American, and she does embody all that is red, white and blue (and green). I sort of lost interest in her around the time of “Borderline”. She was no Stacey Q, that’s for sure.

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