Pride festivities are but a month away, so I’ve started my campaign to lose weight. Because as everyone knows, you can’t participate in Pride if you are indulging in gluttony and sloth at the same time!
Also- everyone knows that Pride is all about looking good and being thin. Pride is not for “fatties” or “average joes” or even for friends who want to hang out and “just have fun”. No, Pride is only for people who are hot. Being thin is ‘hot’. And when you are hot, you can chat up other hot pridegoers and bask in each others respective hotness. And then sneak off to do the nasty in a porta-john.
But I digress– mainly because I’m hungry and cranky.
Yeah, I’m doing my own version of Atkins. Basically eating broccoli and tuna until I drop 50 pounds. Pluses: meat and veggies are healthy. Minuses: the gaseous clouds produced by the meat and veggies are highly toxic.
I may do weekly postings of weight loss (gain?) a la Kelly. But at this point, I’m almost too big to get on a scale.
Well, to get on a scale and not cry anyway…