I know that technically “Jesus is the reason for the season”, but does it have to be totally rubbed in our faces all the goddamned time?
Xmas SHOULD be about the Satan (oops, I mean SANTA) myth. And greedy commercialism of course. We shouldn’t also be forced to celibrate some mewling baby sqwooshing out of a supposedly virginal womb.
Mary: Um, Joseph?? I’m preggers.
Joseph: What?? How?? You only ever let me get to second base..
Mary: Erm… God did it. Yeah! He knocked me up.
Yeah right. Virgin birth my ass!! She was just the first girl to think of it, and she sorta ruined that excuse for all other women since. Thank you Mary.
Anyway…
As you may have guessed, I’m a big “nondenominational” guy. I must say that I thoroughly enjoy it when big retailers (like walmart) change to say “happy Holidays” instead of “merry Christmas”– much to the ass-chapment of the “Christers”.
Tee Hee!
I also love how loads of schools are now having “holiday” plays and “seasonal” shows with no strict christmassy pageant theme. And absolutely NO nativity shit!
Nativity scenes, while nice enough, should be confined to church lawns, in my opinion. If a neighbor throws up a light-up, cheap-ass plastic cresche(sp?), I think they are just asking for it.
When I see these displays, I like to make them more… inclusive. The nativity scene always looks better to me with Joseph, Mary, and little baby Santa along with two wisemen, an elf, donkey, camel, and a light up Rudolph. Naturally I always keep the black wiseman– to represent for Kwanzaa, of course!
What precipitated this whole rant was my receiving of a Christmas card yesterday. At work.
A company that I have had some business dealings with this past year, sent me the card. This is a technical, engineering type company too.
Normally in a business setting, if one is going to send a card, I would expect it should be very nondenominational. Just a “seasons greetings and best wishes” card. After all, you typically don’t know the religious leanings of random business acquaintences, right?
The card I got not only referenced Christ, but it turned the t into a cross for fuck’s sake!!
Well done, designers! Nice crucifixion reference!! In 30 years you are gonna be nailed on one of these– oh and happy birthday!
The card also includes a bible verse for my viewing pleasure.
And now I’m enclosing a pic of the card for YOUR viewing pleasure.
Mangina Monologues 
Fun fact: the “X” in “Xmas” is actually from the Greek letter chi which is short for “Christ.” So that one’s tainted too.
Um scrooge much?
Understand your annoyance with the card though… the crucifix seems to have too many meanings and is totally off balance in the cards design make up. Good thing you’re not Jewish as one of their customers huh?
I like the bible verse at the bottom.
When I worked at That Former Employer in MN I got a similar Jesuslander card from a hopeful supplier. Later I toured their facility with the CEO and some sycophants; they took me to lunch and made a big show of praying over their food (c’mon, bitchez, it’s just Olive Garden). Later I found out that the CEO went around me and lied to some of my colleagues, implying that I had “approved” their product; his email was forwarded to me for comment and was signed “Be Blessed.” My comment back was “This man is a liar. I never said nor implied any of this. Be Blessed.” That order went elsewhere.
I hate hypocrites, and I hate Jesus hypocrites even worse, and kicking them in the wallet seems to be very, very effective. They had a good product but after that little stunt, no way.
Yeah, that card is totally inappropriate for B2B. Corporate holiday communications should be non-religious, such as ‘Happy Holidays’.
Maybe you can send them a ‘Happy Hannukah’ card and see if they get the message.
Mark 🙂
I despise people who get all up in arms about the phrase “Happy Holidays”. They get so indignant and say “It’s merry CHRISTMAS you Jesus hating Jew!!!” Well… not the Jew part but these people believe the world is out to get them and trying destroy everything they love when in reality the SANE people are just trying to be fair and include everyone in the holiday celebration. But even still, if a person says “Happy Holidays” to a Christian they shouldn’t get all pissed off because the term is encompassing for Christmas and New Years. Like… “Hey! Happy Holidays if I don’t see you buddy!”
Fucking jerk-offs making it all about themselves and their religion.
Jesus Gaudy Christ. There are at least three different typefaces in that card.
Despite the sensitivity of not trying impose religion on anyone, we are also becoming so neutral and sanitized about everything that “Merry Christmas” is supposed to be offensive? This can’t really be this high on the Bitch and Moan list.
I swear next time I’m going to wish a whole sh*tload of white folk a, to quote Krusty, “solemn and dignified Ramadan” and see how they like it. Now if I can just remember when Ramadan is this year…
Bon Holigays…
Should you be upset that you got such a card, or happy that someone remembered you?.. I don’t know if I’d be so vitreolic at this time of year. Clearlly they wanted to piss you off; how dare they spend 40+ cents to so so.
You seem to be in such a state lately. I hope you can find it to have a nice holiday season. I don’t know what it’s like to drive in a blizzard as long as you have. When I lived in Iceland it was all short distances..like 4 or 5 kilometers..Never was I stuck as you were/are.
I appereciate your blog, and look forward to it daily; take care of yourself so that I may be entertained, damnit!..
Ciao,
Eric
Merry Chrismahanukwanzstice everybody!
That is SO TACKY. But then, fundies are all tacky all the time.
A sincere “Bah, Humbug!” works for me. Say, does your company send THEM a card? Too bad you can’t sign it with an appropriate name (Ural Schitz comes to mind, but I’m sure you can do much better).
There’s something a little creepy about a card that says “Yay! it’s the big holiday of my Middle Eastern resurrection cult!” and which assumes that you, too, believe in virgin-impregnating superbeings coming to earth to knock somebody up so that their offspring can be ritually tortured.
Besides which, should the big Resurrection Day (Easter) be the main holiday, if you’re all about the religious part?
How do you suppose these people would react if you sent them a Happy Feast of Eid card (if there was such a thing)… you know, just to remember them and wish them well?
You do realize that you have just inspired me to go card shopping for you, right? You ain’t seen nothing yet. There is a Christianist press not too far from where I live, that makes that card look secular in comparison. Bwah-hahahahahahahaha!
Tater, you are are TRULY evil, which is why we love you. That, and your effing fine looking too.
You know what I hate? Secretary Day. Fucking twats.
Yeah, I’m something of a rabid atheist an it thrills my heart that other atheists are putting up Atheist Trees at state capitols, as well as on billboards, etc.
But I had to laugh that they actually sent out a Christ card.
I’ll tell you what stuns me though. My elementary school (Msgr. Bove when I went there, St. Ann’s now) not only gets the Catholic holidays, they also get the Jewish holidays too. And I didn’t look too closely but I bet they get the Islamic ones too.
Of course the price they pay is getting out of school in late July.
just when i get to enjoying your posts again – you go and piss on my religion. sigh.
You are too funny. 🙂 Thanks for an amusing post! I’m Joie, and I got this link from Mark in DE (Tales of the Siss). 🙂 Thanks for making me smile.
Check my blog out sometime! 🙂 I’m adding a link to you.
It is hard to part of the majority and have all of society celebrating your holiday, isn’t it, Willie?
If Christmas were a religious holiday, bitchy comments would be tacky indeed. But once Christians went along with making it about buying lots of things, dragging trees into your house, and spreading platitudes about how it’s the season of love and togetherness and expected the entire country to grind to a halt for several weeks to go into a Christmas frenzy… and then suddenly said “OMG, but what about Christ!?!?!?” – any legitimate right to whine was lost.
You want everybody to be all Christmasy? Sorry, it’s not a Christian holiday anymore.
And seriously, I can’t think of a better way to trivialize what’s supposedly a major religious holiday than Christmas sweaters, Frosty the Snowman, and putting reindeer antlers on your car (saw that yesterday).
Ummm, CB. It’s from “The God Group.” What did you expect? 🙂
Love ya, mean it! Mwah.
Did you leave something on the stove?…I thought I smelled something burning. Oh Yeah it’s your soul. 🙂