Its sweeping the nation!

I’ve been test driving a new phrase this weekend, and I kinda like it.  The phrase, you ask?

‘Nilla, please!

‘Nilla, as in VA-nilla, as in a bastardization of the phrase used quite frequently by the African American community, but co-opted and converted into phrase all white people can use.

I think its hip and trendy and ripe for pop cultural use.

On Friday I was working out, when suddenly “Get ur Freak On” by Missy Elliot graced my iPod shuffle.  I love the song, so I start lip-syncing along with it while busting some cardio.  When she got to the line “Listen to me now, I’m lastin’ twenty rounds, so if you want me (nigga) then come on get me now” I properly redacted the offensive word.

I have enough white boy guilt that I can’t even mouth that word in a nearly vacant room of elliptical crosstrainers.

This got me to thinking, though.  When Missy says it, it sounds like ‘nikka’.  Which I still don’t think I could ever utter, because its too close to the “other” word.  Which then led me to wonder how I could alter it so that I COULD say it without the intense shame.

And the potential for getting shot at.

Nikka…. hmmm, oh wait.  What about Necco– like the Necco wafers!  That might work.  And I could use it to call out white folk.  You know– Necco…

(ding)

Nilla wafers.  Perfect!  Vanilla.  White.  Sounds like the other word more than Necco does.

Oh, I can just hear all you playah hatin’ ‘Nillas out there right now.  Step off, bitches–you KNOW this is good!

So I tested it out on Kyle on Saturday when we hung out.  He found it amusing, but I think he’s waiting for the time when I screw up and substitute in the wrong word when I mean to say ‘nilla.  And then he’ll laugh and laugh as I’m getting my ass beat down.

To further test it out, I busted the phrase out on Jim while we were looking at pricey watches at a fancy jewelry store.  (We both like shopping for watches we can’t afford, what can I say?)

When he suggested that this one diamond encrusted Movado would make an excellent Christmas gift, I turned to him, held up my hand and said, ” ‘Nilla, please!”

The salesgirl’s jaw dropped.

Sale’s Girl (laughing):  Oh.  My.  God.  That’s awesome!  I’ve never heard that!

cb:  Yeah, its new.

SG:  I am SO gonna start using that!  Where did you hear it?

cb:  I didn’t really.  Maybe subconsciously I did, but as of right now I’m claiming that I created it independently. 

SG:  Its awesome!  Just for that, I’m gonna have to give you one of these…

And we do the ‘fist bump’ across the watch counter.

A fist bump?  From a skinny white girl at a fancy jewelry store??

‘Nilla, please.