I was speaking with a friend yesterday and discussing a dream I had that featured him. It wasn’t “bad” in the usual sense- no extreme violence or death or storms or scariness. He was an artistic character in it, and was painting while roller skating backwards. I’m sure Freud would have something to say about that.
No, the disturbing or “bad” part happened after I left him. And this is a recurring theme in many of my dreams.
When I left his artist loft, I was making my way back to my car. Only I couldn’t remember exactly where I parked. So I started walking around the twisted labyrinth of alleys and streets and stairs in order to find my car. But it was a struggle.
It was dark and I kept searching but nothing was looking familiar. And every time I felt like I was close, there was a building or a fence in the way and I had to work around it.
But here’s the disturbing part. Just walking was a struggle. Like it was real physical effort to get my legs to move- they just wouldn’t. It was so exhausting that I had to resort to crawling forward- basically pulling myself along with just my upper body. In some cases, I could only move in this sort of loping, Bear crawl motion.
And I had a similar dream just last night!
In this one, I was at the theater getting ready for the gay men’s chorus concert, only undiscovered that I had left my performance shirt at home. I asked costumes if they had a spare— they didn’t. Looking at my watch I had 35 minutes to curtain. The director told me I had ti drive home to get it, and I knew I’d be cutting it close.
So I bolted out of the theater and started the search for my car. (Again- a car search!) I went to my normal parking area and it wasn’t there. Then I remembered I’d parked close to the theater loading dock along the street. So I head back to the theater.
And every step is a struggle. Just physically exhausting. And I resort to this sort of loping, hopping, Bear-crawl to pull myself forward. I eventually get so exhausted I just lay down. All the while I realize precious minutes are ticking away and I’m going to miss our performance. Then I remembered my key remote panic button, so I hit it.
My car alarm starts going off and it’s just around the corner from where I’m laying. I crawl my way to my vehicle and pull myself inside. It’s a manual transmission and just pushing in the clutch is so damn much effort.
Then I wake up.
My buddy mentioned to me that he has similar dreams and thinks it’s a Gen X thing. Where we were given all the tools to succeed but we still aren’t satisfied? My take is that we know we won’t be as successful as our parents but the pressure to achieve is still there. So we search and search.
Anyone else have dreams like this?