The Suite Life

This was a very sportsball weekend for me. I got to attend games for both the Minnesota Timberwolves and the Minnesota Vikings. And in fancy suites, no less!

I was invited to attend the games via my step-sister-in-law (although a divorce has us technically unrelated now). She was close with my dad until the end, though, so she’s still family.

Anyway- she works for a big grocery store chain which sponsors a lot of the pro teams. And she’s in the marketing department, so it’s her job to attend games and promote the store and work with the salespeople for the teams. Aka “schmoozing”.

And on this visit I got the benefit of attending too.

First up? The Timberwolves on Friday.

Just a view of the suite and me overlooking the arena. It was free food, free beer and wine and soft drinks, free desserts/popcorn. I also got a free Timberwolves shirt!

We also basically had a personal wait staff person at our beck and call who brought us whatever beverage we wanted.

All in all it was fairly decadent. But not Vikings suite decadent. More in that in a sec.

Added bonuses, the mascot made an appearance, as did the cheerleaders. The mascot is a wolf. Named Crunch.

Oh, and get this!. After halftime, one of the sales guys asks my sister-in-law and I if we want to go courtside.

Second row. Mid court.

The seats we were in go for around $1000 a pop. Each. It was like being Spike Lee at a Knicks game! So ridiculous.

Oh, and the player’s last name is Layman. He doesn’t know it yet, but he’s my new boyfriend.

Then came the Vikings game on Sunday (versus the Broncos). Again, in a suite.

You can’t tell, but behind the grey wall behind me was a counter full of more food. And there was a huge flat screen tv directly to my left showing the game. There were also numerous smaller flat screens scattered about. And then in front of me were our seats as well as the box which extended into the stadium.

We sat at the granite countertop bar at the back of the suite so we could eat comfortably.

The whole Vikings experience was unreal. Concierges at the suite level scanned me in and then made sure to welcome me and get me to where I needed to go. Along the way I got a mini tour.

The finishes are all stone and wood and such. Since we were in the Valhalla suites, everything naturally had a Norse feel. Shield. Helmets. Carvings.

The “Medtronic suite” was just a big restaurant/lounge with buffet style free food. Cheeseburgers, shrimp cocktail, lord knows what else.

There was also a bar. And open bar. Whatever you wanted to drink was yours, gratis. I saw so many rich folks drinking bloodies and mimosas.

There was also the tables of snacks (m&m’s, Swedish fish, gummy bears, etc), an ice cream bar, the tables of mini tortes, etc.

Plus our suite had catered food. Thick cut bacon. Poutine. Sandwiches. Charcuterie. Salad. Fruit. Cookies. And a fridge stocked with beer and soft drinks.

Again we had a staff person to take care of our suite, not to mention all the other staff for the individual bathrooms, and janitorial duties, and serving, etc.

At halftime our staff changed out a couple food items and brought in Street tacos and seafood curry.

Then of course there was the game.

The pre-game Viking ship. The salute to veterans. And an exciting finish which saw the Vikes pull a victory out of their ass.

While the experience was cool, it was also a bit unnerving. It was like being a capital city person in the Hunger Games. So much waste and decadence. And all the money involved?? My god.

I mean, even the “poor” seats aren’t for the poor. They still cost a helluva lot. Looking at the full stadium, I just kept thinking “Jesus, how much money came in today?”

The distressing part was that all the people in the suite area just seemed to take it all for granted. That was the biggest “ew” part. It’s like they didn’t have the proper awe (tinged with disgust) at the whole spectacle. Plus, they didn’t seem to be particularly grateful or gracious, basically ignoring the help.

I, however, am grateful for these experiences. They definitely don’t come around very often and lord knows I’ll probably not get to experience this again. And while it was fun to see how the other half lives, I also am quite content living my simpler life.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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