This weekend was one of those solitary weekends– only I really didn’t want it to be.
As I’ve said several times before, 99% of the time I am just fine being by myself; in fact I generally prefer it. I cherish my quiet, alone time. But sometimes (even though they can wear me out) I need to be in a crowd and around people.
This was one of those weekends.
It was really the first nice spring weekend we had- where summer felt really close. It was one of those weekends where you just want to be outside, drinking on an outdoor patio with friends.
So Friday night I went out. It was Gear Night at one of the gay bars, so I tossed on my harness and headed out. The place was definitely packed and I saw people I knew, but it was fraught with all these little moments that made me feel alone.
Like one guy I know whom I spoke to briefly, but then he ignored me the rest of the evening.
Or this other guy (with whom I’ve had a “connection”), I start chatting with him and about 10 minutes later I find him making out furiously with an acquaintance of mine.
It is a bit ego-bruising, being brushed aside or being the one “not chosen”.
A similar thing happened on Saturday. I was chatting with a friend (who is moving soon) and he mentioned that he was going to this gay “guys and brews” mixer thing. I said that sounds like a good time and that it was a nice day for it. He said that I could come as it’s just a casual gathering. I told him I’d let him know as I was heading out for a bike ride.
And I did let him know. I texted him and said, “If I won’t cramp your style too much, I’d love to tag along. Where is it and when?”
I actually found myself excited for it as I was thinking this would be a great networking opportunity where I could perhaps meet some new friends and extend my social circle a bit.
Then I went on my bike ride, all giddy with anticipation.
Earlier he had mentioned that it was sometime around 2– which is when my ride ended. So I sat on my deck and waited.
2:30. 3:00. 4:00. Nothing.
So, I guess maybe I was going to cramp his style after all. Ouch.
Then I put out feelers to people I know, seeing if anyone wanted to meet for a drink on a patio somewhere. Anywhere. Texts. Facebook.
I ended up getting my outdoor drink fix on at the Eagle– by myself. Well, I did bump into people i know (as this town is small) but that’s kind of it.
Sunday was mostly spent wallowing in self pity and eating my feelings. Nilla wafers and chocolate frosting are good for that.
Sometimes Minneapolis sucks.