Going… down?

I almost always think of Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator” when in an elevator– and then I make an inappropriate joke. And snicker. 

But that’s not what this post is about. 

This weekend, the Twin Cities gay men’s chorus was in Kansas City to sing a joint concert series with Heartland Men’s Chorus. It went well and was a lot of fun. 

But that isn’t what this post is about either. 

We stayed in the downtown Marriott in Kansas City which was a fairly nice hotel.  Much nicer than I generally go for (as I’m a cheap bastard).  And at this hotel I was introduced to an elevator “process” that I hadn’t yet seen:


Outside the bank of elevators were these touch screen displays. You summoned the elevator by waving your hand over the touch screen to wake it and then selecting which floor number you desired.  An algorithm would then choose the nearest elevator (which I believe were staged strategically at different levels), a car was called and you were then directed with an illuminated arrow and letter to the correct car location for you: A, B, etc. 

Elevator wait time was maybe 10 seconds. At the very most. 

Once inside the car there were only 4 buttons: door open, door close, emergency stop, and emergency call.  The doors would close and you were whisked basically express elevator-style to your floor. 

I think the only time I suffered additional stops was when people on lower floors were also going to the lobby level. And that was one time and only perhaps two stops. 

Seriously- WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?

No more getting into a car going up where people press like 8 different floors, thus trapping you in close quarters with the rabble when you really just need to get to your room to pee. No additional delays of more people getting on and off like the slow cattle they are. And no suffering children pulling that Dick move of pushing all the buttons before jumping out.

Minimal wait time. Everyone going to similar floors or areas. Fast. Efficient. Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. 

I love shit like this, where someone took an everyday situation that we all suffer through “just because” and then came up with a reimagined, fairly elegant solution.

For this one magica weekend, I glimpsed the future, and it was glorious!

Le sigh……

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to Going… down?

  1. Martin says:

    Just too cool for school!

  2. MiGuy says:

    Awesome! But life is too short to stay in cheap motel/hotels.

  3. truthspew says:

    Oh your misanthropy is showing. This part “more people getting on and off like the slow cattle they are” getting off the train every morning I call it the walk of living dead.

  4. truthspew says:

    Oh and that elevator panel reminds me of the Sirius Cybernetics Happy Vertical People Transporter.

  5. Mark in DE says:

    That is both cool and efficient.

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