Pros and Cons

Whenever I get rejected by guys (and anymore this seems to be a fairly often occurrence) I tend to spiral down the hole of “what’s wrong with me?”  I mean, I think everybody does this, right?  Crushing self-doubt is de rigeur these days.

90% of the time I think I’m pretty darn cool.  

It’s the other 10% of the time that can be a royal bitch and depressing as hell.

(Right now you’re all thinking “awww pity party  for one”.  But I’m not trying to be all poor me. I think my life is pretty good and I have tons to be thankful for. I’m just a bit lonesome is all.)

So be by an engineer, I tend to make pro-con lists.  And I try to be as honest as possible with myself.

On paper I don’t think anything is that much of a red flag….

PROS

– drama-free (for the most part)

– gainfully employed

– stable

– honest

– trusting

– not a drug user/addict/alcoholic

– well-educated

– animal lover

– (kind of) funny

– tidy

– comfortable with myself 

– decently traveled 

– artistic/musical

– semi-athletic

– adventuresome

– friendly/nice

CONS

– slightly overweight

– 47yrs old

– very sexually driven

– 99% bottom

– selective and sometimes acerbic sense of humor

– sometimes juvenile (in humor)

– too self-reliant

– need my alone time

– self-centered (?) (aka not giving enough of myself or my time)

– perfectionist

– tendency to be judgmental 

– can be stubborn and argumentative 

– likes to push buttons

– very low drama threshold 

– even lower hypocrisy threshold
I know you all are like “friendly??  NICE??” But really I am. I smile and say hi to people. I hold doors. I say please and thank you. I tip well. I don’t gossip or backstab. I get along with most people. I let people merge. I defer to other’s choices so as to keep them happy.

And sure I have baggage– we all do.  But a majority of my Cons can be mitigated, especially if someone lets me know I’m being annoying in some way.

I think I’m the gay community though, what’s really working against me are my age, weight, and sexuality. These three things take me out of contention with like 99.99% of potential suitors. 

So I’m diligently working on the weight thing. It’s the only one I can directly control. And it’s not like I’m huge– I just have a bit too much paunch. 

And so I diet and exercise.  And I do a weigh in every morning and record my weight. 

The needle isn’t moving very quickly– but I keep at it. 

Maybe after I lose 30 lbs, someone won’t mind me being a snarky, 47 year old bottom, huh?

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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7 Responses to Pros and Cons

  1. Damien says:

    OK – here’s something to consider – I’ve blog linked with you for how long? You rarely say hi.
    You may be polite, but I think you could be a little friendlier. I say this in the spirit of the post. You seem like a nice guy – hence why I say.

    • cb says:

      Thanks for the comment and I kind of get what you’re saying– but I’m kind of at a loss in how to be friendlier. We interact on Facebook, which is more than I do with a lot of random acquaintances from social media. If you mean that I don’t visit your blog enough– that’s probably true.

      • Damien says:

        Here is more – you seem like a funny, witty, sharp person. Yes we interact on FB in single sentences. You seem a little protective of yourself – which is part of the message of this post I guess. You are WORTHY. You do not deserve having people cancel on you. But that is the small measure of THEM. Not you. This random acquaintance thinks highly of you. Recognize the higher in yourself. If someone cancels, give them the middle finger, then move forward. It is what you can only do.

  2. Jeffrey Rich says:

    You can spell and use proper grammar! That puts you above 99.99% of people on teh Internets.

  3. Chip says:

    I don’t read your blog as often as I once did. I remember wishing you a happy holiday season over a year ago, and to my regret, (and admittedly) feelings of being ignored- wrote to you and asked why you didn’t reply. You sent me a strongly worded e-mail and basically eviscerated me for expecting a response. I also several times asked if you wanted to be Facebook buddies since we communicated frequently, and you had no desire to do so.
    These events just stick in my mind—along with the fact that you have written on a few occasions that you “often wear people out….” I didn’t think I deserved such a harsh response. This is just my own experience.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t think you need to lose weight, (unless you want to do so for you) you look fine just the way you are. You are a handsome man. Do you really want a partner who is that vain? I do think it’s a numbers game — the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances. In the gay community, there seems to be a lot more bottoms then tops. And there is nothing you can do about your age. You are very intelligent and have a wide range of interests which I think would be very appealing to someone. It’s just a matter of finding that someone. So many gay men struggle with the same issue that you are.

    Have you thought about short term psychotherapy to see if there is some road block you are putting in the way that even you are not aware of? You have nothing to lose and much to gain.

    I wanted to send this to you privately but I don’t have your email address — feel free to read it and then delete it. I hope you believe me when I say I really do wish you well.

  4. Blobby says:

    you’re drama free AND push buttons. oh, honey!

  5. Ollie says:

    Don’t give up. Who knows why some people fall for who or why. Maybe look in places you did not look before. Join new groups or have friends set you up. Never give up hope.

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