“They Both Are”

So, when I was home taking care of my mom, we had a conversation that was slightly disheartening:

Me: oh, it looks like the weather is nice in Minneapolis

Mom: what makes you say that?

Me: a picture of a friend of mine and his husband on my Facebook page. They’re kayaking on the lakes today. 

Shows picture to mom

Mom: so, how do you know which one is the husband?

Me: …….

Mom: …..

Me: um, they both are. There’s no woman involved here.  It’s just husband and husband. 

Mom: so with two women, they would be wives instead?

Me: yeah, pretty much. 

Sigh. Overall my parents are pretty open and progressive, but sometimes I still get a bit shocked. And dismayed. 

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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3 Responses to “They Both Are”

  1. Jeffrey says:

    It could be a case of reflexive thinking, i.e.: for our parents, a marriage was always composed of A husband and A wife. Having two of any one of these in one marriage just doesnt’ fit with their old model that our parents have held in their brains for 70 or so years.

    The phrase “husband and wife” have always gone together in speech and in thinking up until last June 26th. Even in my own brain. We just didn’t grow up hearing “husband and husband” or “wife and wife”.

    It’s lazy thinking that we all indulge in. And, we too have had to answer the “who’s the husband” question from family. I just say, “if you’re a man, you’re a husband; if you’re a woman, you’re a wife, just like in your marriage.”

    • NIFP says:

      I agree with Jeffrey. And it’s really just a case of ignorance, not stupidity or hate. She didn’t know which term to use, and now you’ve educated her. Perhaps she will go on to educate others. You did a good and necessary thing, and your mother benefited from it. Simple as that.

  2. Mark in DE says:

    As progressive and (even) accepting as Spouse’s family is, every once in a while one of his brothers will ask something similar. Logically I think they already know the answer. In their case I believe they feel its good-natured teasing to ask such questions. But Jeffrey’s answer is probably the most accurate for your mom.

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