Feeling Frustrated

This post is going to come across as horribly crass and insensitive and downright bitchy. But my mother is frustrating me. 

Well- care of my mother is frustrating me. 

Mom just had knee surgery on Monday and we are home now. At the hospital, the care was great and things went well overall. But now we’re home and I’m only here until Sunday to help. 

And I’m getting frustrated. 

First of all, she let her knees/ankles go several years beyond expiration, so she is in rough shape. I knew she was having more difficulty getting around, but she’s a stoic and I’m not nearby so I didn’t know how bad it had gotten. 

Secondly, her weight and fitness level are problematic and creating issues with her mobility. She already had issues getting dressed (so I understand) and now the knee surgery has made things even harder. She can barely get in and out of bed, and is having trouble doing several of the required exercises. She can’t bend down or lift her legs. 

While she is doing decently getting up out of chairs and walking with the walker, she can’t stand up if the chair/bed are lower than a certain height.  

I’m worried about the shower and other things that might arise when I’m gone.  I have a shower chair, but I need to take off the doors, install a rod and shower curtain, get a flexible shower head, etc.
Did I mention that my mom has two, aging, ankle biter dogs too?  Those are going to be a problem moving forward– although we have leads that can be attached to them for just letting them out back. 

The last frustrating thing is that Mom’s house is… a bit cluttered. She isn’t a hoarder, but she doesn’t tend to throw things away. And her house is small, with too much furniture. This makes pathways  for a walker sort of a challenge. I’ve rearranged it the best I can for now, but there just aren’t any easy options for her. 

Her bed is a challenge and it’s the only place to also put her passive knee exerciser. Which she can’t get into by herself because she can’t lift her leg and she can’t bed to attach the Velcro straps.

She has many friends who have all offered much help, but I’m worried about her. When I’m gone, who’s going to get her dinner or make her bed or get her water or just help her get around?

I mean, being her homecare person these past few days, I just see there’s so much that I’m doing that I don’t know how she’ll do it by herself. I’ve been basically running non-stop.

At this point I’m just hoping that mom improves markedly over the next 3 days so I can fee more comfortable about leaving. 

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to Feeling Frustrated

  1. Jeffrey Rich says:

    start checking with friends now, tonight if possible
    call the hospital and ask for a medical social worker – they have great resources and contacts for this very kind of thing.
    You might have to hire a home health company to do daily check-ins for a short while.
    Hope some of this helps.

  2. Rob Mitchamore says:

    My heart goes out to you! Be strong!

  3. Chip says:

    Can she go to a rehab facility for a little while til she is more mobile? If the hospital recommends it, it is often covered by insurance. I’d talk to the hospital social worker ASAP.

  4. I feel for you, it is hard seeing this happen to our parents and loved ones. I hope you can find the assistance you need. A rehab facility might be the best path 😦

  5. NIFP says:

    Another case of poor/non-existent discharge planning. As above, call NOW. Sounds like there really should have been a scheduled home visit to assess the problems you have mentioned, then home health scheduled to address them. And insurance may even cover that, or at least in part. Sadly, so much is just dumped on the family nowadays, in the manner of that classic line from Mommie Dearest: “YOU figure it out.”

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