The “Feels”

“Inside, my heart is breaking…”

This weekend was our last “camp” for Minnesota Brass. Two long but very productive days of rehearsal and an exhibition show for high school band kids. Now we head out to Rochester (NY) for the championships. 

And damnit if I didn’t get a case of the feels.  Feels which are continuing unabated today.

This is my section, and yes… I am that old.

  
 “My makeup may be flaking….”
This happens every year about this time.  The summer is waning quickly, school is starting, and the drum corps season is nearly over. So much hard work and so many hours of rehearsal, and we’re almost at the close.

And despite my best intentions to approach my abbreviated season in a detached and clinical manner, the “Mad Circus” has managed to breach my carefully constructed walls.

  

“But my smile still stays on….”

I really wasn’t sure about this show at first.  Yes it had “potential”.  Good musical flow, a clear and understandable theme, and several good brass moments (especially in the ballad). But the musical book for the baritones didn’t challenge me, the drill didn’t have quite the demand of past years and the overall show felt like it was still missing something (performance? spark? X??). Yet I had agreed to come out of retirement, so I put my nose to the grindstone, focused on my performance, and counted days. 

But every rehearsal we’ve been adding layer upon layer: voice over narration, electronic samples, body movement, new guard work, refined music changes, humor, drag, a ring master, percussion stunts, pre and post show thematic stuff… The list goes on. 

   

   
Through it all, “Mad Circus” has continued to grow and has finally blossomed into something really fantastic.  And in doing so, it has taken root my heart.

And we’re not done yet. 

NOW the show has “it”.  There’s so much going on during the show it’s a visual feast.  It’s crazy. It’s fun. It’s funny. But it’s brilliantly designed and paced so that focus is where it should be.  And the theme is completely realized through drill design, movement, characterization and costuming.   It really is a three-ring drum corps circus!

And the big “The Show Must Go On” hit (yes, Queen) at the end of the show has real potential to be one of the highlights of 2015. 

We’re so damn close– close to putting something really special on the field in Rochester. Close to making it something to remember… Even if it doesn’t win (which it probably won’t). I wish we had additional week to perfect it!

I wish my heart wouldn’t get ripped out again on Sunday night (although it’s inevitable).

I wish the final performance was already over. 

I wish it didn’t have to end.

“The show must go on.”