My parents and I don’t really discuss my “gayness” very much. It comes up in random comments every so often, but generally the subject is politely avoided. I do know that they want me to find a “special someone”, but they only bring that up every six months or so when they lament the fact that I’m always alone. 

The only other subject they seem to lament with more frequency is that they will never be grandparents.  And this is the one where they don’t even attempt to hide their disappointment in the fact I’m gay.

And that I hate children. 


Now “hate” is a strong word.  So for the sake of argument, let’s just say that I rather dislike uterus turds and choose not to be around them.

Much to my parent’s dismay. 

While my dad (and his girlfriend) were visiting, my dad brought up in casual conversation that an ex-step-nephew (it’s complicated) and his wife are expecting a child in August and my dad has agreed to help with baby watching duties like one day a week once she goes back to work.

He then started talking about all of the things he’ll have to buy in order to help watch the thing.  All this discussion was prompted when he was taken aback by the size a woman’s child kennel/carrier at this restaurant where we were eating. 

Dad:  that looks like a nice, but heavy carrier

Cb:  what?  Are you planning on buying them car seats and a grayco stroller and shit?

Dad:  not for them… For me

Cb:  why do YOU need to buy all this crap to watch a kid one day a week?? Can’t you just put a blankie in a cardboard box?

Dad:  this is my one and only chance to act as a grandfather and influence a child so I want to go all out

And there you have it.

Then dad proceeded to explain to his GF that I hate children and would never be providing any fruit from my loins for him to fawn over.  All because I was too self-focused (read: selfish).

“Damn skippy,” I told them. “All children are is a big drain on resources. They’re basically little Remoras feeding on time and money.”

Yes, I know that this isn’t really a gay issue, because gays are having kids or adopting them all over the place. But it gets lumped in with my being gay, and one of the ways it makes me a disappointing son. 

Ah, the perils of being an only child…..

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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11 Responses to Grandchildren. 

  1. Buddhafied says:

    Totally hear you… I’m an only child as well and I can just *see* my mother’s eyes whenever she looked at other people’s grandchildren. They haven’t said anything yet, but I do expect some sort of talk similar to yours sooner or later. That said, when I had a dog a few years back, I forced her to call my dog her grandchild.

  2. truthspew says:

    Yeah – I don’t necessarily hate kids per se. It’s just that limited exposure is the best. I’m too fucking old for that shit anyway and my father finally kicked the bucket back in April. So no pressure now.

  3. Chip says:

    Hey, well at least you’re honest !

  4. Doréus says:

    Same situation here. My mother mentioned something about grandchildren about twenty years ago, at a time when I was joining the clergy… I took advantage of the situation to also come out to her. It has never surfaced again… even when I left the clergy and had a relationship. She has never had a problem with the fact that her “grandchildren” are a bunch of cats. My father hates kids about as much as I do, so it’s lucky. And both of them are much happier that I am gay than a priest.

  5. TQE | Adam says:

    I’ve never had any interest in children, not even when I was a child — thankfully my parents do not live vicariously through me and have left me (and my siblings) alone when it comes to what we do as adults (only exception: we must have health insurance).

  6. I hate kids too, never have liked them even as a child myself. I always gravitated to adults.

    I have never dropped a fucktrophy to my sperm/egg donors dismay; my sister did, so they are happy with her one and only.

    as a str8 female, others find my lack of a maternal instinct strange/wrong/insane; THEIR problem, NOT mine. and the child-molesting duggars should be on birth control drugs.

  7. Blobby says:

    not that I ever wanted kids, but at 16, when I chased my sister around the house holding a butcher knife, I had the epiphany never to have them.

  8. Old Lurker says:

    I for one am glad you know yourself enough not to have kids.

    As for your parents: if they loved kids so much they should have given you some siblings as backup. That is not a surefire strategy (ask my disappointed grandchildless parents) but it would have improved the odds.

  9. James says:

    Maybe your parents wanted to have more than one child, and unfortunately, they couldn’t.

    I do agree with you though — that doesn’t make you obligated to have a child.

    I’m gay and would love to have children but feel that I really would have to have my shit together before I did that.

  10. Dray Bosma says:

    Kids. They’re so overrated..

  11. Pingback: Biokids – Old Lurker

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