Me So Horny!

Okay. So I’m not one to get embarrassed by much– in fact it’s usually me who is the one causing other people to blush. I basically live a couple blocks past the line of taste and decency, and just do occasional drive-bys in order to wave at the masses.

That being said, I can be occasionally caught off-guard, in which case I will indeed blush like mad.

Last night was one of those cases.

Let me start by saying that I never get phone calls. I get texts, but a phone call for me any more is a rarity. Let me also say that I always have my phone set to silent so that I just get a vibrational alert. And by “always” I mean like 99.9% of the time.

In fact, I have my phone set to silent so much that I tend to forget what ringtone I have selected. (sigh)

So, last night at Chorus rehearsal we were in the middle of what’s called a “3-minute share”, where a member gets up and talks to the group about his choral experiences and what being in the chorus means to him, and it’s kind of quiet and poignant and that’s when I hear it.

It’s very muffled but completely recognizable:

Oh! Me so horny! Oh oh! Me so horny! Oh me so horny, me love you long time!

Yes indeed. The sampled chorus from 2 Live Crew’s hit single.

It takes me the full lyric cycle to realize that (a) this is my ringtone, and (b) it’s coming from my phone which is buried inside the bag that’s under my chair.

The guy doing the share stops and looks in my direction. I’m sort of frozen at this point as I think “Maybe they’ll hang up and it will stop on its own, because I can’t easily hit the silence button on the iPhone.”

But no.

The phone launches right into the second time through. Oh! Me so horny!…

I feel my face burning at this point as everyone is now looking at me. And given the poignancy of the share, this particular ring tone AND the all-gay audience…. Just FML. Seriously. So I dive for my bag and scramble for the phone.

And as soon as the bag opens, the muffling effect stops and at full volume the phone is blaring out me love you long time! before I’m able to silence it.

My face is now on fire and I’m trying to not make eye contact of any kind, but failing. I’m also trying hard not to giggle at the magnitude of the fail.

The best part? It was my mom calling “just to check in”.

At break I did go and apologize to the guy who was sharing. He is a friend of mine and was fairly understanding. But still–

So, you can see it takes a special “epicness” to truly embarrass me.

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to Me So Horny!

  1. Mark in DE says:

    HA!! That’s a great story. 🙂

  2. Symon says:

    please!! What gay man would not find that both amusing an humorous at the same time!!

  3. It’s a good that your momma actually *has* loved you a long time 🙂

  4. Ron says:

    Sorry for your embarrassment, but that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time! And there are many worse songs it could have been, I suppose.

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