You Need Therapy!

The question has been raised by several readers as to whether or not I’m in therapy, and if I’m not, would I consider therapy?

The short answer is: no.

The slightly longer answer is: hell no.

It’s not that I’m against psychiatrists and the whole “head shrinking” industry– I just don’t think it would be a value added service for me.

I’m quite used to figuring things out by myself. I’m not convinced paying a stranger to listen to my petty concerns (which would undoubtedly be distorted by my own “truth lens”) and then having the person say “Interesting, and how do you feel about that?” would be of much benefit.

I already overanalyze things on my own. I dissect and investigate (I’m a materials engineer, it’s what I do). I use a myriad of tools to help me prioritize and problem solve. And I self medicate through exercise endorphins and the occasional chocolate binge.

I didn’t really have a traumatic childhood. I don’t have abnormal trust or abandonment issues. I don’t have depression, manic-depression, OCD, or any crippling phobias. I managed to survive middle school and high school, go to college, pay off student loans, get myself set up with a good job and a great condo, and surround myself with music to keep my soul filled.

In short, I’m a fairly typical, single gay American male who has good days and bad days, but experiences fair winds and following seas 95% of the time.

And this blog sometimes is a way for me to process things, like the 5% of the time I run into minor squalls.

Besides, blogging is mostly about attention, right? If I wrote about my typical days, who would wanna read that shit?

So for the time being, I plan to keep sailing through life much as I have been, and making course-corrections as needed.

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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14 Responses to You Need Therapy!

  1. James says:

    As a practicing psychotherapist, the decision is yours. I will say your vision of what psychotherapy entails seems to be based on how the television and film industry portrays our profession. You couldn’t be more wrong about what occurs in therapy.

    • cb says:

      Oh, I have no doubt that I have a distorted view. But honestly, what am I gonna do in therapy?

      “Hey doc. I woke up, had wheaties, rode my bike to work, put in 8 hours at a somewhat dissatisfying job that pays me extremely well, went to the gym, and then enjoyed a sandwich for dinner.”

      Groundbreaking stuff.

      • James says:

        Too long to answer in a blog or e-mail. Talk to friends who have gone, and find out more. You might be surprised. Good luck, in whatever you decide.

    • Jeff says:

      James, did you notice he said “psychiatrists” instead of “psychologist”? Not trying to be a smartass, but people should know the difference. And as far as what would he say, well he pretty much does say it all right here. Only problem is the commenters are not trained in this area. It’d be like “Hey, I’m an electrical engineer, so how hard can it be to be a materials engineer?”

      Sorry CB, but your statement “I don’t have depression…” is wrong. I never thought I did until my partner me took to therapy. Now I look all the way back to childhood and blame my parents for not noticing. I’ve read your blog since you where in Cincinnati and you sure show all the symptoms of depression. Think of it like me saying “I hate chocolate, it’s yucky” even though I’d never tasted chocolate.

      (If you were still in you 20’s, being unhappy might be OK. But pal, you’re long past that and should be TOTALLY enjoying life at your age.)

      • cb says:

        Well, for one thing I’ve never lived in Cincinnati.

        And two- I’m quite happy and content with most of my life. It’s just sometimes I think it would be nice to not be alone *all* the time. Most of the time I’m fine with it, though. So I don’t think that means I’m clinically depressed.

  2. wMw says:

    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

    Just saying maybe trying something different may allow you discover why you remain single is a world full of couples.

    • cb says:

      Yup– I agree. Just like changing my diet would be a great way to lose weight. I know how to eat better, I just haven’t committed to it. But Paying Jenny Craig to tell me things I already know isn’t gonna help.

  3. Blobby says:

    I’m not saying therapy is a racket, but I always assumed it was patients who couldn’t get their lives together until I worked with psychiatrists. 15 minute meetings would last 90+ minutes and nothing completed. NOTHING. EVER.

    I realized then this wasn’t patient problems, it was the mental health professionals who couldn’t commit to, or solve, even the slightest of logistical issues, let alone of ones dealing with another persons issues. Those patients were doomed from the start.

    I’m sure I’m generalizing, but this was a top rated medical institution and I’m talking this was over the course of 12 years.

  4. I think you are fine just the way you are. you are the captain of your ship; steer her onto smooth seas.
    I had 4 years of therapy to get thru abusive parents/bullies/cancer/men. it worked for me.

  5. Mark in DE says:

    The biggest misconception about therapy is that the content (what you say) is going to lead to some big revelation that will explain everything. The reality is that therapy is more of a process. Nuggets of understanding eventually reveal themselves in therapy, often quietly, with the help of a skilled therapist (not the kind Blobby worked with). Its not at all like paying Jenny Craig to tell you how to lose weight. With all the success you’ve had in different areas of your life (money, condo, career, etc) maybe you could benefit from a little assistance to achieve success in a long-term relationship.

  6. JimA says:

    I agree with anne marie. I think you’re fine… I’ve been to therapy and it did help me with issues I was facing: parents passing away the same time I ended a relationship with my ex, and had sleep and trust issues. But I’m fine now and no longer see one.

    And the statement about being single in a world full of couples is a bit insulting! Why does one think that since I am single I am lonely? I’m not! I’m an average guy like CB is… and I’m not pinning my happiness on someone else.

    If I go through another stressful time I’ll see a therapist again… but I’m fine now. And CB…. you seem grounded to me. Don’t worry about it!

  7. Old Lurker says:

    I vote trying out therapy, if you can afford it. Good therapists help you get past your “truth lens” and call you out on your bullshit. Just because you are smart (and pretty) doesn’t mean you have everything figured out.

  8. Rick says:

    I think riding a bike, driving a mini cooper, enjoying art, playing a musical instrument, is therapeutic enough.

  9. Glen says:

    I vote therapy! Sometimes the voices in your head are wrong!

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