I wish I would understand myself well enough to grok what exactly it is that I find irresistibly attractive in men…
And then correct that faulty goddamn wiring.
Cawfee Date guy had once again managed to sneak in through the armor chinks and fuck with my head (and heart). And I just don’t get it.
I mean, I get that this guy is wrong for me. I get that he’s “emotionally unavailable”. I get it that when he looks at me he doesn’t see boyfriend, he just sees a piece of ass. And I get that this is exactly the same as it was last time.
I get all this. My brain knows this stuff.
And then evidently short circuits.
Because I have one reconnection fuck session followed by dinner and conversation with this guy and suddely I’m fucking twitterpated. And then he says he likes me as a person and he wants to hang out more and we should really grab coffee at Leather & Latte and there’s these events I should look into and he’ll forward me invites on Facebook and….
And then this:
So, um. Yeah.
I guess the part about seeing a guy didn’t really come up so much while his dick was in my ass. Twice.
And before you say it, yeah yeah, I KNOW. My text was sappy. But understand that he had texted me earlier and was having a down day with the weather. I had tried to cheer him up, but to no avail.
And the “Disney Prince” thing is a reference to the fact that he worked at Disney when he was younger– as the character Prince Charming. (Yes there are photos to prove it). I thought it might be a day brightener.
Regardless, it now looks as if I’m an idiot. And in the same boat with him. Again. And my stomach is all oogy and my chest feels empty and I’m pouring my feelings out into a blog post.
The history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself.