In honor of this esteemed day, I present a smattering of Valentines Day cards to you, my readers.
Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?)
Ambition: to be the best human ever!
Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock
Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness