Arse upon Thars

I just got a new toilet sets and boy is it nice! Okay, it isn’t as nice as one of those fancy, Japanese bidet toilet seats, but it’s nicer than what I had.

You see, it “soft closes”.


Yeah, my new throne cover slowly closes down; no more bangy my wangy. And no more startlingly loud slams when I piss in the middle of the night.

Really, what took me so long to jump into 20th century bog technology?

You know something? The toilet seat that I just replaced was the same one that was present when I bought my condo. It looked pretty clean and new, so I just left it.

But the lure of the soft close was simply too strong. So I used a Home Depot gift card and gave my commode a face lift. Well, technically it’s more of a mouth lift, butt….


It’s nice and I’m glad I made the switch. But it does beg the question– what would my readers do?

When you move into a new house or apartment, do you replace the toilet seat with a fresh one? I never really thought about it much until replacing mine this weekend.

Any thoughts?


About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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4 Responses to Arse upon Thars

  1. when we moved into this house (2000), we had the entire upstairs toilet replaced. 2 years ago, we had the powder room toilet replaced. no japanese throne, but functional nonetheless.

  2. Partick says:

    I’ve moved so infrequently I have forgotten… but I too have one of the soft close lids… after a few weeks to a month, I found myself pushing it down. That’s just me.

  3. Girl Tuesday says:

    We’ve always replaced the toilet seat. I mean, how many unknown butts have been on it? Ewww.
    I looked at a house for sale once that was really nice, but it was a no-deal when the toilet seat in the hall bathroom was cracked and peeling. Such an easy fix, and the home owner chose not to do it.

  4. justajeepguy says:

    I’m not sure it ever occurred to me to replace them unless they were in disrepair. I’ve only rented so I might have thought differently if I had owned. Now that you’ve planted the idea, I’ll probably buy new ones now. I’ve always sterilized them, not just cleaned, but really sterilized.

    While we’re on the subject – I would never keep/use someone else’s mattresses or cloth/leather furniture.

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