Stars Upon Thars

Sometimes I really wish I were a quicker draw with my iPhone camera. Case in point: the star dude at my gym.

So, I’m walking into the gym on Sunday and in front of me at the check-in station is this total freak black guy. Wearing a navy blue sweatshirt covered in stars.

Which matched his neck– which was also covered in star tattoos of various sizes.

And then he turned around. At which point I noticed that the star tattoos continued all over his face. Along with a tattooed chin strap beard.

To quote George Takei– “Oh my.”

Or to quote Kelsey Grammar in that shitty X Men movie– “Oh my stars and garters.”

My immediate reaction was “Ooooo, a Star Bellied Sneetch!”


Facial tattoos. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say *never* a good idea. I think even neck tattoos are pushing it a bit. I mean, your face is what you present to the world. It’s the first thing people see, really, so what impression are you trying to make? What are you trying to say with your permanent ink choices?


I think she’s saying “We are all made of stars.”


This one says “I like ice cream– and cuttin’ bitchiz.”


This says “I’m a monster… Energy drink lover.”


I see this and immediately think “Genius.”


I think he was just trying to accent his eyes. They *are* the windows to the soul, you know.


And this one says “I’m better off in prison.”

Getting back to the Sneetch at the gym, I think in addition to his facial choices, he was also tweaking. Or high on something other than life. He was fidgety, unfocused and just seemed off. I can’t believe they let him into the gym, let alone lent him a basketball!

One look at his face should have told the Y staff all they needed to know.


About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to Stars Upon Thars

  1. Old Lurker says:

    Wait. People do this to themselves? Permanently? How do these people afford their tattoos when nobody will hire them?

    On the other hand, the half-borg guy in the last pic is a pretty striking effect.

  2. Mark in DE says:

    I agree – neck and facial tattoos are a bad idea. What employer wants to hire someone with facial tattoos, other than a tattoo shop?

  3. RG says:

    The guy with the lipstick kiss tattoo on his cheek – I’d still do him. Not kidding – rough stuff like him makes my engine rev. Day-um.

  4. bearhunterfl says:

    I’m with you….hate, Hate, HATE tattoos on the face….and on the neck. When I see them….right or wrong…..I assume they belong to a very troubled and self-loathing individual

  5. I can tell you, as a tattoo artist, that I will only do a facial tattoo on someone that already has one. And even that’s iffy. As everyone has noted, a facial tattoo changes the way humans look at you, and there’s no hiding it.

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