OMG people! Remember how I can hear my neighbors having sex, but I’ve never seen or met them?
Well, now I have.
I didn’t “meet” meet them, but I saw them. And they saw me. At our annual Condo “meet the neighbors” party!
It was this past Saturday evening. I went with my friend Chad who lives in the building (and his partner). As we were heading up, I reminded them that my ultimate motive for attending was to potentially catch a glimpse of my fuck-neighbors.
“Your mission– should you choose to accept it,” I told them both, “is to find anyone with the number 515 on their name tags.”
We were at the party for maybe 20 minutes, I was stuffing my face and chatting with some other folks, when I caught Chad’s eye.
He had that “OMG! SOS! urgent!!” Look which could only mean one thing.
I casually glanced around, and standing in front of Chad and his partner was this couple. An older couple. Think a younger James Brolin and Barbra Streisand. But less well maintained.
That’s the couple I hear fucking?? Eww! EWWWWW!! I had them pegged as much younger.
This couple was not mingling too much, not were they really talking to anyone else. I thought about going up and introducing myself.
“Hey neighbors!!! We’ve never met, but I feel as if I already know you as I’ve heard so much about you.”
Something like that.
But I didn’t. Yes, I chickened out. I needed at least 2 more beers before that kind of confrontation.
Anyhoo, a little bit later I was chatting with the nice gay couple who lives at the end of my hall. We were standing at the bar and I was regaling them with tales of “loud neighbor activities” and we were laughing and having a gay old time when suddenly…
“And here come my neighbors now,” I whispered to them.
They were leaving and would be passing right by me. I schooled my face with my best polite social grin and waited.
And then I saw.
The old couple wasn’t alone. In tow was a younger couple. A much prettier couple.
Old couple weren’t my neighbors at all– they were mom and dad of my REAL neighbors. And they were walking right toward me!!
Mom and Dad passed by without so much as a glance or sniff. Noses in the air. Studiously looking absolutely straight ahead.
Which told me they had seen my unit number. And knew who I was. And were patently avoiding me.
And then the younger couple filed past.
The girl went first. Blonde. Pretty. Late 20’s. Didn’t so much as bat an eye in my direction, even though I smiled and saw that yep, they were indeed 515.
My instant guess was that this was mummy and daddy’s precious little multi-orgasmic baby girl.
The young guy brought up the rear. Him, I recognized. I’d seen him once before on my floor. In full army fatigues.
As he passed by our eyes met, briefly. But as most of my gay readership knows, so much can be said in one look.
In that flickering instant I saw recognition and acknowledgement. He knew who I was. And he knew I knew who he was. Who they all were.
And we both knew we both could hear the sex.
And now we both had a face to put with the loud moans and “OH FUUUUUUUCKS” coming through the walls.
I could also tell he was perhaps only mildly embarrassed (if at all) by the whole thing.
Needless to say, as soon as they left I made a bee line for Chad and his partner to dish!!