The bacon condoms come (cum?) pre lubricated with J&D’s bacon flavored lube.
So your room can smell like Santorum and Waffle House after sexytimes.
Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?)
Ambition: to be the best human ever!
Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock
Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness