Why do you think you’re still single and do you think that after being single for so long, you’ll ever be able to live with someone human?
Thank you for the kind comments preceding this question! But this was important enough I thought it deserved an honest answer.
There’s an infinite number of reasons I’m single.
Electronic social media is a dangerous thing. You can edit yourself into a version of “you” that shines a spotlight on your best facets, making yourself all shiny and appealing. Thus giving your electronic audience a incomplete and rather “stylized” picture of YOU.
The list if my faults is long:
I’m selfish. And an only child. I like things my way. I can be stubborn and argumentative. Totally set in my ways. I have a quirky and dark sense of humor. I like to push buttons. I have trouble committing to monogamy. I get bored with people easily. I’m a loner and sort of a snob. I’m a hopeless romantic who’s always waiting to be swept away. I have self esteem issues. I keep busy a lot. I crave alone-time. I tend to think people only date me only because they want something. I push people away when they get too close.
Not to mention other less savory qualities I won’t mention here.
And then there’s the “Gay Math” thing.
Say there’s 3.5 million people in Minneapolis. 1.75M of them male. And say 5% of those are gay, that’s 87,500.
I’m 43, and since I’m not going to date a toddler or a codger, that further whittles down the total. Lets say maybe 15% fall into a dateable age range (+/- 5 years of me). So maybe 12,000 potential men.
In the entire metro area.
But then subtract out those incarcerated, unemployed, already in relationships, smokers, drug users, those out in the boonies where we’ll never meet, those with less than a collegiate education, the ethnic groups that I’m generally not attracted to, people who aren’t in a dimilar socio-economic strata, bottoms….
Well, the number dwindles. Considerably.
And then of those left, WHY are they left? Are they the dregs of gay society? am I a dreg? I must be. And hell, if I did scrape the barrel, am I even their type? And will I find them attractive? And will they be able to make me laugh?
I consider myself lucky if I meet one guy every decade or so that I fall madly in love with and who reminds me I’m capable of schoolgirl feelings.
But those guys have always turned out completely unavailable. Or uninterested in me.
So I remain single.
And to answer your second question– while I’d love to find someone to share my life with, I fear I am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life.
A real downer, huh?