From reading my Facebook feed today, I gather that Arpad Miklos (porn star) committed suicide. He was 45.
This actually saddens me.
Normally I’m quite heartless and unphased by celebrity death. Or suicide. I mean, plenty of people die each day– some from gun violence. Some from starvation. Some from disease or old age.
But for some reason Arpad’s (nee Peter)’s death bothers me.
Perhaps it’s because he was only a couple years older than me. Or maybe it’s because he is one of my all-time porn “crushes”.
I actually met him once, you know. It was at a bar in Raleigh. He was “making an appearance”, but the thing was nobody was talking to him. He was rather an imposing and intimidating figure.
I thought he looked so lonesome, so I went up and chatted with him. Not for very long, but enough that I got a good sense about him.
You know how there are some porn stars that are pretty much just what you would expect once you meet them? Shallow, sleazy, a bit pretentious, druggie, out for a quick buck perhaps?
And then there are porn stars who kind of surprise you when you meet them, because they don’t fit what you would expect at all.
Arpad was the latter type.
I remember my opening line: Hello Mr. Miklos– I enjoy your work. Often.
He smiled and laughed good naturedly (like he hadn’t heard similar lines before). And he thanked me for supporting his career.
We talked of why he was alone at the bar– I was expecting a flock of fans. He merely shrugged. Then I remember using some Greek lines on him– which is when I learned that he wasn’t Greek at all.
Then we talked about his real nationality and the difficulty of the Hungarian language. I did ask what his real name was; all I got was a sly grin in response.
My overall impressions of him were that he was nice, unassuming, gentle, and intelligent. There was definitely something deeper than cinematic sex going on behind those eyes of his.
I wonder what made him decide to take his own life? Did he get into drugs? Was the porn scene just too much for him? Was he depressed? Too much pressure to be the sex symbol and not his real self?
Darn it, Peter. Why?
It was sure nice chatting with you. I hope I told you that.