Or should I say afterbirth?


Someone brought in a leftover bag of hallowe’en goodies to work today. I use the term “goodies” loosely. I mean, look what’s left?


Does this shock anyone?

People. For the love of Jesus and Candy. Do NOT subject kids to “Whoppers” as their “treat”.

The only thing worse than getting Whoppers in your trick or treat plastic jack-o-lantern is getting a box of Raisins (aka natures candy).

Or dental floss.

Or pennies.

Whoppers as a candy should not exist. They are the gym-class nerd of candies– always chosen last. And only because you have to.

Seriously. Just pony up the extra dollar and get fun size Milky Ways or Butterfingers.

And leave the Whoppers for grandparents and their shitty candy dishes.


About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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7 Responses to Aftermath

  1. Tony says:

    I always heard “leave the whoppers to CB”

  2. Dustin says:

    I don’t think I ever have had a whopper in my mouth . . .

  3. you want whoppers, go to burger king. give me a milky way or a twix!

  4. Mark says:

    I always thought whoppers (or anything malted) smelled like puke……… just sayin’……

  5. Cubby says:

    Are you flippin’ nuts? I love whoppers! Send them to me.

  6. Mark, nee Fuzz says:

    I’ll wrestle you for the whoopers cubby! However, sick fuck that he is, I am surprised cb referred to them as gym class nerds and not the dingleberries of candy. And that opens up a whole new can of worms.

  7. Steve in MI says:

    I like whoppers, too! (I always suck the chocolate coating off them before I chew up the malted center.)

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