You Know You’re Old When…

… You beg off on a night of drinking and bar hopping so that you can relax on your couch.

This past Saturday I was invited to a combined bachelor/bachelorette party. It turned out to be about 95% bachelorette and 5% bachelor. It was sort of an all day affair, and I managed some of it, but after 5 hours I was kaput.

I just can’t “party” like that anymore. And by party I mean drink non-stop.

I participated in the pub lawn bowling portion, and then accompanied the group back to their hotel for more drinking and sammiches.

But that was all I could handle.

I mean, I really like the couple who are getting married, but they were really the only people I knew at the party.

I was quite the outsider.

Plus, I don’t really drink anymore. This means I consider two beers to be quite a lot of alcohol for me. By 3:30 pm I’d had reached my limit and then decided to coast.

While everyone else kept drinking… And drinking… And drinking…

Being the lone, sober, “creepy old man” in a sea of loud, tipsy 20-something girls isn’t as much fun as it might sound.

Even if there was a point in the evening when they were comparing bust-sizes and shouting out their respective measurements.

Many were 34-B, as it turns out.

I swear we were one round of tequila shots away from a bra-n-panty pillow fight.


So when 7 pm rolled around and they were setting off on the pub crawl portion of the evening, I decided to take my leave.

The rest of my evening was spent watching HGTV and eating cold pizza.

Man am I getting old!

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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6 Responses to You Know You’re Old When…

  1. truthspew says:

    Interestingly I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. She is down in the Atlanta area and she was telling me about the various points in the week where she goes out drinking with friends. It’s seriously cheap too.

    I explained she had to remember that when we worked together we both spent a good number of days and nights pickled to the gills. I just can’t do that anymore. Oh sure, with food I can easily down a six pack of a good ale with at least a 5 to 6 percent alcohol content.

    But when the two of us worked for the Attorney General’s office here – my god that was the most alcohol fueled group I can remember. I recall senior staff meetings and EVERYONE was hung over.

  2. If it had been a group of hot, manly, 40-somethings from band camp, would it have been different?

  3. Chip says:

    I don’t drink much, never have. I kinda like it that way — I get a good perspective of what’s really going on at an event.
    P.S. Any way that you can post the URL for the very first entry in your blog so I could start at the beginning?

  4. rg says:

    So what’s your bra size – 38C? LOL

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