I get off on heavy construction equipment.
Specifically, all-terrain cranes.
I know it’s odd. And I can’t explain it very well, but there’s something about these multi-wheel vehicles that I find… exciting.
I snapped the above pic at the construction site near where I work. I wanted to stand and watch it work, but that felt a bit creepy.
But I walk past it daily now and steal glances.
I think my fascination with these vehicles dates back to early childhood and the Sears Christmas catalog.
I have a hazy memory of going through the toy section and dog-earing the page featuring the cranes. I wanted Santa to bring me one so badly!
Alas, I think I got micronauts instead.
Anyway, my love for these particular vehicles remains to this day. I wish I could describe how I feel when I see one….
… It’s like being in grade school and having a crush on a boy in your class and your stomach feels all knotted because you like him but you aren’t supposed to like him so its naughty but also vaguely arousing.
I said it’s bizarre, don’t judge me!
Nowadays when I see one of these bad boys driving down the road, I get an overwhelming, irrational desire to cut in front of them, make it pull over, hijack it, and then take it for a spin.
I know, I’m sick. But they look like they’d be a blast to drive. Long, wide, powerful, all those massive tires, and the way the big cab sits ahead of the front wheels…
And much like in real life, size matters. The bigger they are, the harder I fall.
500 ton crane? Sexy. 1200 tons?? Fuck yeah!!
Oversized load? You know it.