My Little Project

On Sunday I finally put together a little home project that had been noodling around inside my head for awhile.

I built a plant shelf.

Some background first. I have a great, sunny bank of windows in my dining area, that was basically dead space. I had envisioned some sort of long, console table there that could be used for plants.

One issue with that plan was the boxed-in heating pipe that runs along that wall. Any table would either have to be quite narrow or it would stick out awkwardly into the space and have a gap between it and the window ledge.

My solution?

20120416-100857.jpg

It’s constructed (i.e. cobbled together) out of adjustable, stainless steel legs courtesy of Ikea, and a 1″ solid oak top courtesy of Room & Board outlet.

The wood top was in the “seconds” stack and completely slashed from the original $300+ price tag. Score!!

Or so I thought.

Now would be an excellent time to insert the foreshadowing narrative “little did he know”

Attaching table legs to an oak top is NOT EVEN REMOTELY like attaching them to MDF. That oak plank was basically like a sheet of goddamn iron.

Seriously, if the Titanic had been constructed of this shit, all the passengers would have been sipping cocktails with crushed ice instead.

Holy shitsnacks, my “little project” rapidly turned into a complete goatfuck.

I ended up going to Homo Depot and getting shorter wood screws and a couple drill bits…

… Which I ended up basically destroying.

While drilling my first set of pilot holes into the oak, I completely snapped the tip off one of the drill bits. In the table.

Which necessitated starting a new, slightly shifted series of pilot holes.

Then there was the fact the screw holes for the table legs were SO close to the leg itself that I couldn’t use my cordless drill.

I had to use a hand screw driver.

And even doing all the screws by hand, I stripped out several heads and had to drill out the holes numerous times just to get some of the screws seated all the way.

It took me 1 hour 40 minutes to attach two table legs with 3 screws per leg.

But now I have this:

20120416-104215.jpg

It was almost worth the effort.

Btw, the Christmas cactus an the African violet are courtesy of Derrick.

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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11 Responses to My Little Project

  1. I wish I had a nice table like that on which I might kill potted plants. Instead, they sit about on countertops until my cat chews them up and hurls them on the soft carpeting of my bedroom floor so that I might find a barefooted surprise during the darkest hours of the night. My cat hates me.

  2. bleakaugust says:

    I never would have envisioned you having problem drilling things, but…nice plant stand though.

  3. Sean says:

    So basically you spent the whole weekend screwing, thinking about screwing, recovering from screwing and then bragging about screwing.

  4. Matt says:

    But it looks nice!!

  5. Marcus says:

    Totally worth the effort. And a man that brings you plants is a keeper;-)

  6. anne marie in philly says:

    VERY nice and clever, cb; that’s using the old noodle!

  7. Sean’s comment is the best!

    And the half-table looks great!

  8. truthspew says:

    I’m considering doing something similar, except with multiple layers because I love growing fresh herbs. So these are standard windows, about five feet tall, three or so feet wide. I figure I can get three shelves in the dining room window that way.

  9. truthspew says:

    In fact what I’m likely to do is use those shelving rails, one on either side and drop a center support down the middle and attach a rail to that. That way I can adjust the shelves as needs arise.

  10. Mark in DE says:

    “Little” weekend project always take 3 times longer than anticipated – guaranteed.

  11. Rick says:

    Nothing is as easy as you think it will be. But all of your efforts appears to have been worth it. The table looks great and utilizes the space

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