Clutz.

Lunch was a tragic affair today.

First I Decided to walk to the local Subway for a sandwich. Which somehow got mixed up and “misplaced” between my last condiment instruction and paying for it.

(The cashier was like 5 sandwiches behind).

Once that got straightened out, I ate and then walked back to the office via the river.

Where I got cruised by a handsome guy with a cute dog. And I mean “cruised” as when I passed them, we each smiled and said “hi” and then when I looked back, I caught him staring at my ass.

So I smiled again (bigger this time), and he grinned…

And then I rolled my ankle on the uneven brick path and fell down.

Hard.

He rushed up with his dog.

Him: Are you okay??

Cb: Yup. Just rolled my ankle right off the edge of the bricks

Him: Yeah… That can happen…

Dog: ….

Cb: Which technically it just did

Dog: *sniff*….

(Cb get up slowly- now bleeding a little from scraping my hands)

Him: Sure you’re alright?

Cb: Yup– nothing a bandaid and a cave to crawl into won’t fix

And with that I just hobbled away as quickly as I could muster.

For you see, the fall also caused me to let go of a fart. A fart that I had been holding– no, clenching–during my walk. And, ad it turns out there was a good reason I didn’t trust the fart earlier.

Because it ended up being a bit, erm…. Humid.

Talk about insult to injury!

The only shiny “nugget” (pun intended) in the whole situation is that I don’t think the fart was audible over the sound of me dropping my soda and hitting the pavement.

I think this qualifies as an FML moment.

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About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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14 Responses to Clutz.

  1. ROFL! Great story. Another example of your positive attitude.

  2. pjwyckoff says:

    OMG!

  3. Guy Allen says:

    That was kind of sad, plus no phone number?

  4. Cubby says:

    FML? More like TMI

  5. truthspew says:

    LOL – we call those wet cheekers around here.

    I would hope you at least go a number or email address.

  6. Sean says:

    I’m sure the dog liked it.

    Eat more fiber.

  7. Ben says:

    Your class is mightier than your ass. Great way to handle the situation.
    Now, walk that street every day like a 10 cent whore. When you see that guy again, you’ll have a conversation starter.

  8. anne marie in philly says:

    oh my! happy to hear you were not seriously hurt. did you have to go home and change your pants?

  9. Kellen says:

    The dog has the best line…

  10. Blobby says:

    um…that is a Shart.

  11. Dirk says:

    i am also curious as to whether the shart was so bad you had to go home and change your pants…

  12. Kellen says:

    it reminds me of the cheerleader pic you posted weeks ago….that Karma is a bitch!!

  13. The only thing I could think of when I read this was: “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”. I’m soooooo buying you a medic-alert bracelet.

  14. CitizenKurt says:

    Was it left over lube that squirted out? I call that being prepared.

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