The Subtle Knife

… And laser.

Today I will be having my second ever elective surgery (the first being my wisdom teeth) and this one is on my eyes.

As it turns out, I am an excellent candidate for LASIK surgery, and so I have opted to go for it.

My eyeballs will be sliced open and partially vaporized around 3 pm today… Depending upon how long it takes the Valium to kick in.

I am both excited and nervous.

The doctor I have chosen is quite highly sought after, and I have selected to have the latest “custom wavefront” LASIK procedure.

It’ll cost a pretty penny, but I ain’t a scrimpin’ on ma eyes!

And God/Allah/Buddha/Krishna willing, I will have 20/20 vision afterward. Or better.

Naturally I’m concerned about possible complications and such, but the risk of severe, irreversible trauma is quite low.

And the reward is quite high.

No more glasses shopping/expense. No more blindness at night and fumbling for glasses. No more shitty periferral vision. No more struggling to see music.

And best of all, for the first time in my life I’ll finallyget to wear douchey sunglasses!

Wish me luck (the good kind)!


About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to The Subtle Knife

  1. “And best of all, for the first time in my life I’ll finallyget to wear douchey sunglasses!”

    You’ve never worn contacts?

  2. truthspew says:

    If one has astigmatism contacts aren’t the answer either. But good that you’re getting it done. I guess medical doesn’t cover it? That strikes me as really odd.

    And I’ve thought about the surgery too but my vision isn’t bad enough to warrant it.

  3. Sean says:

    Truthspew – I had a very severe astigmatism in both eyes and I wore contacts for 20 15 years until I had Lasik. The technology is constantly evolving.

    CB – you could have plano lenses put into your frames for when you want that hipster look or you could donate them.

    When you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be a whole new world! And just wait until you have sex!

  4. peter says:

    I had this done four years ago and it’s just wonderful. As soon as the lights came on in the room I could see so clearly. It was wonderful not to need glasses except for reading and I can get those for only a couple of bucks instead of a couple of hundred. Sunglasses are the best too.

  5. Dirk says:

    Best of luck with the surgery. You’re a far braver soul than I…

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