A wee bit conflicted…

Ok, so I have this “friend” whom we shall call “Derrick” (for that’s his name).  And when I say “friend” in quotes like this, you all know what I really mean is “fuck buddy”, right?

And, correct me if I’m wrong, but the whole point of having a FB is you get to make the fun sexytimes with none of the icky committment stuff, right?  RIGHT??

Well, unfortunately I may be sort of developing the “f-word” with respect to Derrick.  And by f-word I mean feelings.  Not strong ones, by any means– my heart is far too cold and black for that– but faint stirrings.  Stirrings decidedly NOT confined to my loins…

… although he stirs those nicely, thank you very much.

Physically, I’m attracted to him.  And not just the one piece, either (which luckily is a very nice ‘stirrer’, btw).  There’s just something about him that I find handsome to look at.  And I like his body.  He’s not my normal big, burly “type”; he’s thinner and shorter than I am.  But it’s nice.  And he just feels good, you know?

Mentally, I know there are some red flags.  Well, not crazy red flags per se, but definitely some warning semaphore is going on.  Like the fact that he’s close to my age and still a student.  Not a “going back at night for an MBA student” either.

I also think that he doesn’t own a car.  Or at the very least, he’s very into walking, biking, and urban transportation (like the bus).  It’s a damn good thing he only lives a mile or so away from me.

Oh, and I think he smokes pot. 

At least I’m fairly certain he smokes pot.  He’s never brought any to my place and never mentioned it or “offered”.  But I have my suspicions, especially after the one night he came over and seemed a bit scattered, and his kisses tasted like he’d been smoking, but it was… different…  and then he ate my ass like it was Golden Corral. 

He might also be a regular smoker– but I’ve thankfully never tasted or smelled that on him.

One might think this would be enough to put me off, but strangely it isn’t.  I know he also works a couple jobs while doing the school thing, so he seems driven.  Or at least like he has a plan.  And the course he’s been talking about sounds interesting (something about how the advent of mass printing affected information dissemination and world literacy, blah blah blah).

Of course his work and study schedule sort of limits our sexytimes (also a negative).

But after making the sexy, we lounge around and kiss and talk and… cuddle (uggh, I KNOW!).  Dare I say it’s rather nice? I also learn the most fascinating nuggets about him.  Like that he has studied abroad– once in Venezuela, and once in Chile.

And in his 20’s he spent the better part of a year trekking through Nepal and India.

Oh, and did I mention he’s an accomplished top who loves sucking dick?

Granted, he isn’t like my viking neighbor (whom I am still smitten with, but who is also married and therefore painfully unavailable).  But he’s nice and available.  At least more available for fucking than the neighbor.

And I find myself thinking about him a little bit during the day… wondering if I should text him…

I’m in trouble, aren’t I?


About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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20 Responses to A wee bit conflicted…

  1. Ultra Dave says:

    Sounds like a good kind of trouble. Be cautious, he may not be feeling the same……Just be cool about it and see where it goes. Best of luck!

  2. I likey the potential of where this could be headed!!

  3. Partick says:

    Uh Oh.
    Have the dreams started? If so, you’re doomed.

  4. Will J says:

    Game, set and match!

  5. anne marie in philly says:

    just be cautious, pay attention to the red flags AND your conscience. we don’t want you to get hurt. you’re welcome.

  6. Whipit@aol.com says:

    Dating a FB…I got the feeling that can only end badly…the red flags you have picked up on may only be the tip of the iceberg and if you dig any deeper you may lose a perfectly good FB..

  7. Tony says:

    …it was said that his heart grew three sizes that day…

  8. Kevin says:

    first…big LOLZ at ^Tony’s comment…

    next…over the coming weeks (like two, not twenty), you’ll have a chance to ponder the possibilities of exploring something deeper with Derrick. If you think you would like to try dating him, make sure you find out where he’s at muchos pronto! The last thing you want is to be is a big ol’ smitten-kitten with your FB and all he wants is to fuck, buddy.

  9. I so LOLd at Tony’s comment.

    I just say go either with your heart, or with your cock. Or maybe both.

  10. rg says:

    In agreement with the LOL on Tony’s comment.

    And you are indeed DOOMED! DOOMED I tells ‘ya! 😉

  11. Benji says:

    Doomed. As doomed as the kids in “Final Destination 3” on the roller coaster… enjoy the ride before you are impaled from a great height on a jagged shard of metal.

  12. Dave says:

    *actually*, MY red flags would be about someone who discusses such private details about someone else in such a public forum…. if i was derrick, i’d be appalled and would be running far away in the opposite direction… i guess this is what the online world has come down to… zero privacy for all [sigh]

  13. DiatribesAndOvations.com says:

    Changing the rules is fine as long as you change them together. Talk to him. He probably thinks you’re full of the awesome, too.

    Of course, I have to agree with Dave above, too.

  14. Dirk says:

    “Oh, and I think he smokes pot. ”

    Run — don’t walk — to the nearest exit.

  15. Mike says:

    and then he ate my ass like it was Golden Corral…
    So what’s wrong with a little weed?

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