Half-Takers

We have a “half-taker” here at my office, and it drives me fucking crazy!

You know the kind of person I’m talking about. The kind of person that sees a tray of cookies or donuts or cupcakes left over from a meeting and they take “half” of one. And leave the other half languishing on the plate.

Why do people do this?

Just fuckin’ take the whole goddamn cookie or donut! Jesus, it ain’t gonna kill you! And if you can’t finish a whole one, then throw the rest away. Or save the other goddamn half for later.

And you KNOW nobody’s gonna eat that lone “half-cookie” left on the community plate… because everyone knows you put your grubby paws all over it to tear it in half in the first place!

Oh, this is rich. Last night when I left, there was one of those half-cookies. Here’s the plate this morning:

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That sick fuck took half of the half?!?

And it gets better. Here’s the plate 30 minutes later:

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Are you fucking KIDDING me? You couldn’t take a goddamn quarter cookie and felt it necessary to leave an edge?

Seriously, it’s these type of people that make me want to find a clock tower and an AK-47.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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5 Responses to Half-Takers

  1. rozziink says:

    I run the kitchens and conference rooms of a large law firm and this is one of my pet peeves. Only mine is with the half bagel people. And no, they couldn’t cut the bagel so it’s only two little ends that get stale – noooooooooooooo – they have to cut it in half so an entire half bagel gets dried out.

  2. anne marie in philly says:

    my boss does this; “I’m diabetic, so I only want a taste” he says. thanks a lot, jerk! I’m with you; just eat the whole fucking whatever and worry about the consequences later!

  3. Partick says:

    It happens in every office across the country. It’s almost an open joke in my office. It’s like nuclear physics in action! Halflife on a macro scale. I’ve seen a cookie go down to 1/32. Beyond that, it’s just crumbs.

  4. farmthis says:

    LOL. Find that half taker and hurt them!!

  5. This happens in my office too. Drives me crazy. They also leave the empty donut box on the table instead of tossing it in the trash.

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