Are Massages Supposed To Hurt?

Seriously, are they?  Because today it feels like my neck and back were beaten with a sackful of nickels.  And I’m sure if I could see the back of my neck there’d be bruises the size and shape of thumbs.

The reason I ask is because I don’t have a ton of experience with massages.  I’ve only ever had 2 in my entire life, and those were spaced 20 years apart.

But they always sound so luxurious and indulgent!  I’ve been wanting another one for awhile (or so I thought) and Kyle gave me a gift card for a 1 hour massage for my birthday.  Seeing as how drum corps season was over, I thought it was high time for this World Champion ™ to get some pampering.

Well, my pampering ended up requiring several ibuprofen this morning.

I realize that I carry a lot of my tension in my neck, shoulders, and back.  My back is always bothering me to some degree and is generally a knot between my shoulderblades.  Well, she found all those knots, and then some!

*** record scratch ***

She??

Yeah.  The first unfortunate thing was that my massage therapist was a she (and most likely a lesbian).  I had specifically requested a male masseur, and was told Dustin would be working on me.

Well, evidently “Dustin” pulled a Chaz Bono and showed up as “Denise”.

Whatever.  I rolled with it.

I stripped down to my birthday suit (is that what you are supposed to do?  I don’t know, but it seemed like you should be nude) and crawled into the sheets.

Denise came in, and started with a face and scalp massage.  Which I believe I would have enjoyed had it not been for the cigarette smell on her fingers.

Then she began working my neck and upper shoulders.  Hard.  Especially the back of my neck up toward the skull. 

And it hurt.

I involuntarily winced a few times and drew sharp breaths.  And I found myself tensing up my whole body in anticipation of more pain.

The arm part of the massage felt pretty good, although there were some ouchier moments involving my forearms.

As for the legs?  Well, she only got to the top sides of them unfortunately (because my back ended up taking so long once I rolled over).   She worked the fuck out of the areas along my shins which were tight as fuck (probably from all the marching and cardio).  She also did my quads.

Holy fuck OW!  Especially my left quad.  Evidently there was a knot in that one, near my knee, and she dug in there to get it.  A couple times I about came off the table when the pain shot through me like electricity.

Then came time for by back.  Specifically my upper and middle back.  She had me roll over and then she got to work on the significant knots and tension she discovered there.  Most was in the middle, along the bottom edges of my shoulderblades.

There was a lot of pain involved in massaging this area.  I was doing so much breathing through the pain it sounded like a goddamn Lamaze class in there.  A couple times I involuntarily let go with a strangled sort of “Arrrrggh!”

I also noticed my butt and legs were clenched so tight during this that I could’ve cracked walnuts.

Then the massage was blissfully over and I was instructed to dress and come out into the hallway when I was ready.

When I stood up, I was a bit woogity and I couldn’t tell if I was relaxed or just exhausted.

Thankfully I got dressed rather quickly, because just as I was putting my shoes on, some random spa worker burst into my room unannounced, saw there was a client there, and froze like a deer in headlights.  I told her it was fine that I was almost done… she apologized quickly and took off like a scalded cat.

I drank my required bottle of water afterwards– to help flush all the released toxins from my body.  And I proceeded to drink a lot of water all evening.

Today I woke up tired and sore, with my back and neck a mass of tension.  I took several ibuprofen this morning, mostly to get rid of the headache that is accompanying my backaches.

So, is this normal?  Is this the result of me never having massages so that I just have an extreme load of tension built up?  Are massages supposed to beat you up some?  If so, I’m not sure I want another one.

I’m curious what your experiences have been.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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16 Responses to Are Massages Supposed To Hurt?

  1. Chris says:

    I had a massage that hurt like hell and I felt bruised from head to toe, it was the first massage I’d had in about 20 years as well. I think it’s common, but in general they aren’t that painful unless the masseuse uses too much pressure and in that case you should tell them to back off. Funny, the bf only wants to be massaged by men, but I prefer to be massaged by women – guess I’m always worried about a hot guy working me over and having a “response” to that. LOL And yes, nekkid is the way to go. In a few weeks go have another one with someone different and see if it’s better.

  2. DiatribesAndOvations.com says:

    I’m with you! I’ve only had one massage in my life and it will be my last. I’d rather have “uncomfortable tension” in my neck than actual PAIN. They make massages look so relaxing and classy in their ads but their actually quite an exhausting workout … far from relaxing! I’ve been told that I didn’t get a “good one” but I don’t care … it was my last. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a free backrub from the right giver but I’ll never pay for a massage again. It’d be cheaper to haul bricks up a staircase for a few hours to get the same results.

  3. Will J says:

    A good massage should not hurt.

    The spa people probably read and watched your “It Gets Bitter” video and decided payback was in order. Hence the replacement massage therapist and the Marquis de Sade treatment.

  4. Doréus says:

    DId you drink plenty of water afterwards? Massages are dehydrating for some reason and it helps alleviate the pain. There can be some pain, but normally it would not require painkillers, so it does appear that you did get Helga the Russian Masseuse or something of the kind… who may have been quite a bit harder on you than you wanted. Can I get her address? I actually have had the opposite problem: a masseuse who just did not have the required strength and a massage that was completely useless.
    I think I would have told her to go scrub her hands… cigarette smell in a face massage? Sorry, no can do.

  5. me says:

    so there are a couple of different types of massages. deep tissue can be very painful during the massage and yes it can hurt for upwards of 2 or 3 days later. but it should be a “good hurt”. if you are taking painkillers then they probably did something bad or too hard. you should also talk to your massage therapist during the massage. things like “ow” or “that’s too much pressure” or “should it feel like that” are totally appropriate. you should also not get too hung up on the gender of the therapist as i’ve had women beat the crap out of me and guys barely do anything. unless you’re looking for a happy ending in which case none of this matters!

    get recommendation from other people too. like most things, not all massage therapists are created equal.

    and the cigarette smell is a def no no! gross.

    • cb says:

      I didn’t want a guy masseur because I thought he’d be stronger or better… I just prefer being touched by guys. 😉

  6. brettcajun says:

    I get massages all the time. In fact, my tore up tennis body needs one BADLY! I only had one masseur that consistently HURT ME with every massage. He was hellbent on relaxing the knots in my back through hard pressure. OUCH! I generally prefer relaxing massages with happy endings.

  7. anne marie in philly says:

    nope, should NOT hurt; nekkid affirmative. there are several types of massage available, from very gentle to skinned alive; check out the different salons in your area. water afterward is also essential.

    cigarette fingers? OH FUCK NO would they get within 10 feet of me! eeeeewwwww!

  8. Kevin says:

    i LOVE massages.
    a good masseur/euse will usually ask what kind of pressure you like, but if you’re feeling pain and not relaxed, you’ve got to speak up.
    as for the stink of her smoky treats…i’d stop the massage and ask for another person, pronto, especially since a massage is all about you.

  9. Nik_TheGreek says:

    It depends on what type of massage you have. But generally they do hurt if they are not sensual massage. Would you prefer a sensual massage by Denise?

  10. truthspew says:

    One of my favorite perks when I worked at the State AG’s office was that they used to have someone come in monthly and do massage for us. I miss that.

  11. Whip says:

    not a massage person…the idea of me being naked and having a total stranger rub me down for money sounds a bit dodgie.

  12. Pretty much what Kevin stated above: any good massage therapist should always ask what kind of pressure you like (AND have excellent personal hygiene). And in any case, if you feel pain and are not relaxed, you’ve should have spoken up.

  13. Rich says:

    The therapist usually asks if there are areas that require focus, if you have any health issues, and them modify the pressure by asking. A good therapist will ask how much you can tolerate, especially if they are working out knots. Sometimes it takes more than one session to get it all done, especially if you have been working out all summer. Doesn’t sound like you had a good person…would be worthwhile to keep looking…they are not only good for your muscles, but there is something very therapeutic about that kind of touch…you earned the change to just “be” and let someone be good to you, CB.

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