Questions Answered (pt. 1)

Well, it seems you were all motivated by sex questions… and those answers will just have to wait until tomorrow.  Because today is topic #1:  Friends

How long have you known the longest-term friend that you have?  — Buddy Bear

Oh gosh, I don’t know how to answer that.  Friendship for me is best described as “amorphous”, rather than “linear”.  For me it’s all about proximity and the “present”.

I still have friends that I knew in grade school and high school that I keep up with on Facebook.  I also have collegiate friends I keep up with the same way (and I’m rapidly approaching my 20 year reunion there).  But I seldom see these friends in person. 

However, when I do see these folks face to face, it’s like the passage of time didn’t matter and we tend to pick up right where we left off.  And were they to move to the Minne-Apple, I’m sure we’d be besties again.

Now… if you were looking for me to have a “Beaches” type, life-long best friend… well, I don’t.

Describe a time that a friend really came through to help you, and the same for when you helped a friend. — R.B.

Wow, R.B., this is a sucky question.  And only in the sense that I really don’t have a good answer for it– which unfortunately speaks volumes as to the quality and quantity of my friendships.

I tend to be a bit of a “loner”, so I don’t ask for much help as a rule.  I guess I take a perverse sense of pride out of trying to handle things on my own, which means I honestly can’t think of an example of where a friend really came through for me on something.

However, I also like to think I am ready to lend a hand if asked.  I think it’s the “Iowan” in me.  I have helped friends with money problems, moving, reroofing and other home projects, watching their kids/pets, taking them to get abortions, dealing with medical emergencies, dealing with abusive relationships, etc.

But I don’t view those things as “really coming through” for a friend.  I guess I just view it as part of the duties of friendship.

Would you consider having sex with a friend– just because it’s nice to do and to make you fee closer?  — Sean and JC

I think everyone is attracted to their friends to a degree… or else you wouldn’t be friends with them, right?  I don’t necessarily mean sexually attracted, but there has to be something that attracts you, otherwise what the hell does the relationship offer you?

Have I ever considered having sex with friends?  Yes.  Have I ever actually had sex with friends?  Absolutely!  Many times.  (Heck, I used to blow my best friend all the time in junior high/high school!) 

But it really believe it depends on each person’s attitude toward sex and their maturity to handle that added dimension in the relationship.  If you both look at sex as something fun you can share, without any hangups or detrimental effects– then I say why not fuck?

However, if one (or both) of you view sex as something more sacred and special and only to be shared by those truly in love with each other (or some other such nonsense), then fuck no!  Avoid sex at all costs.  And you might even consider moving the friendship towards more of an “acquaintanceship” as a precautionary measure.

And that’s really all the friendship questions that I received.  Story of my life, that.  Anyway, tomorrow will be the big post all about SEX.