William & Kate Plus 8…

… 8 bullets, that is.

Man, I am sick to death of hearing about this royal wedding.  Everything is royal this and royal that.  Blah blah blah.  And the american media is jizzing over this event like a Bellagio fountain. 

The whole thing is a royal pain in the arse, is what it is!

Oooo- big fuckin’ whoop.  You’re getting hitched…  after like 8 years of living in sin.  Bully for you!

I have no fascination with the Royal family; could not conceivably care less about them. (Except for the jewels, cuz dats some serious bling.)  They are nothing but a bunch of inbred, spoiled nancies that serve absolutely no purpose in life, and I think their collective carbon could have been alotted to something more infinitely useful.

A pencil, perhaps.

I was never a Diana fan either.  Sure she did some good stuff.  But in the end, she was just another adulterer who died in a fiery limo accident.

I can still remember talking with a friend of mine at the time of Diana’s funeral.  He was talking about how Elton John rewrote some lyrics and performed “Candle in the Wind”.  My response:

cb:  Yeah, I heard they got Elton to do the gig because they didn’t like what the Spice Girls were going to sing.

josh:  The Spice Girls…?

cb:  Yeah, they rewrote the lyrics to “Wannabe”.  It went something like– If you wanna be my driver, you gotta drive really drunk.  Diana started in the back seat and ended in the trunk…

josh:  …….

Yeah, sometimes I can be quick and cruel like that.

Anyway, since I suppose it’s too much to hope for a repeat limo accident to take out William and Kate, I am left hoping for a juicy divorce in a few years that destroys the Monarchy and gives the cranky old bitch a fatal heart attack.

Either that or for a good, pre-ceremony IRA car bombing.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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10 Responses to William & Kate Plus 8…

  1. Ben says:

    Wow…just wow. I don’t like this royal garbage either… but wow, just …wow!

  2. Cubby says:

    Christ CB, these are extreme comments! Don’t you understand that someday if you ever choose to run for Congress somebody will dig this blog up and you will receive endless publicity and be on every cable news channel and probably win the election? Are you nuts?!!

  3. Joe says:

    Hey Sarah, I hope you realize that with your crosshairs if anything happens to either of those two you’re going to be suspect #1.

  4. Mark, nee Fuzz says:

    Wow… a bit harsh. Ya think?

  5. Glenn says:

    Wouldn’t it be a hoot if someone just happened to accidently notify the FBI about this post? You are looking at some serious indirect threats. I suggest you delete this post before someone does report you…… hmmm.

  6. Kevin says:

    As a member of the Commonwealth, I can only say…Off with your head! Let them eat cake! Where’s my driver!

    For shame…

  7. Buddy Bear says:

    I think Kate is just lovely and must very brave to be marrying into that nutjob family. Here’s hoping that William inherited more of his mother’s loving personality and less of his emotionally-stunted father’s.

  8. rg says:

    I would still do Prince Harry though.

  9. Nik_thegreek says:

    Oh, you should have been in London…
    Then talk about media and people frenzy…

  10. Sean says:

    You just want to be the one who gets crowned and gets to have Prince Hot Ging as his brother-in-law.

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