Hugh Hefner, you bitch.

I’m getting ready for work this morning and I hear a news teaser on the radio that “Playboy” is cummin’ to the iPad.

Squeeeee!

I think to myself, “I will SO pony up the dough for a subscription! I can’t wait to finger those glossy, airbrushed, fake boobies on my iPad!!”

You see, I LOVE Playboy– always have. It probably goes back to my childhood of sneaking peeks at my dad’s Playboys (and occasional Hustler) when I was younger.

Even though I was totally gay back then, something about looking at the female nakedness still made my tummy feel funny.

Then as I got older, I began to appreciate the articles.

I’m being serious!

Love the interviews. Love the fiction. Love the gadgets and fashion. And especially love the forum!

When I lived in North Carolina, I used to subscribe to Playboy even. I still h e the 25th anniversary copy tucked away in my underwear drawer– just like dad used to.

Don’t believe me? I’ll take a pic sometime.

Anyway, I was so excited for a few hours– a new, cool use for the iPad!! And then the bubble was burst.

Reports are now that Hugh was talking out of his ass, and that Apple won’t allow any sort of pornographic publications on the iPad. Not even one as tame as Playboy.

Well fuck.

Apple seriously needs to pull their head out and start allowing porn on the iPad. The thing is basically designed to be “porta-porn”.

Hell, why else does anyone buy one?

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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7 Responses to Hugh Hefner, you bitch.

  1. NCLTony says:

    COMPLETELY agree. I mean, they allowed VLC player so I can put all my…Erm… movies on there. Why not allow a bit of flesh? Bring it on I say 🙂

  2. Dan says:

    Ugh – Again, I fail to understand why these sorts of businesses (Porn, hookup sites, Adult stuff) have yet to build versions of their websites (with a paid membership) targeted for iPad/iPhone/smartphone devices, wherein they can do whatever the fuck they want without Apple’s dickweed morals interfering.

    Or, maybe it’s just the sites I use (Recon, Manhunt, Daddyhunt)…

  3. Cubby says:

    Help me out here. I’m embarrassed to say I’m ignorant in the extreme when it comes to mobile devices.
    I hear the iPad can surf the internet. I also hear there is porn on the internet.
    So are you saying Apple can somehow magically know where you surf and block your access to porn? Does Apple also monitor where you shop? Where you do your banking? What you read? Who your friends are?
    Someone please tell me how this works, because I just can’t believe this is true. Nobody would buy one if it was.

  4. Dan says:

    @cubby
    We’re talking about the apps that run on the iPad/iPhone/etc – they are screened by Apple and can be banned from their store if they’re too adult.

    Which of course, is fucking retarded, because you can just use the web browser to get all the adult content you want… yet they don’t ban Safari.

    I downloaded another web browser and the app store listing contained a warning… 17+, contains nudity, violence, sex, etc.. it’s just so wrongheaded and dumb.

  5. Blobby says:

    I at least liked Hustler bc now and again they’d show a man’s peen.

  6. John says:

    They want to sell them into schools, they don’t want anybody stumbling across porn on the app store, so there you go. (Games about blowing stuff up are OK though). Happily, there is the internet.

    By the way, who’s that up at the top of your blog? Please send him to my house, now.

  7. rg says:

    I loved Hustler – they were the first adult mag to run the “wet, split, beaver” shots, AND my favorite cartoon – Chester the Molester. (I know – not PC)

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