Bit of a Conundrum…

Ok, here’s a hypothetical situation for you (and it’s totally hypothetical, any resemblance to actual persons is strictly a crazy random happenstance):

Let’s say you are a middle-aged man who is hypothetically involved in a large group activity.  This activity is comprised of a mix of men and women (mostly heterosexual), but with some gay guys peppered in just for flavor.  And this group of people encompasses a wide variety of ages (17 – 70 or so).

Then let’s say that hypothetically you are rather homosexual and are fairly certain that most folks have figured this fact out by now.  Especially after hypothetically performing the “Single Ladies” dance moves in front of everyone.

And then let’s say you are hypothetically travelling with this large group and there is much alcohol involved (although you yourself stay insanely sober).  Most everyone is getting a wee bit tipsy around you, and suddenly you receive a text message on your phone.

The text is from someone in the group– a gay, 21 year old in fact.  A 21 year old who JUST turned 21 a month ago.  Who’s been drinking.  Considerably.  And this young person hypothetically texts you the following:

So.  Isit sad i kinda Have A brush on you. [sic]

When reading the text, what with the drunken fingers and all, it is sort of clear that the meaning in the text was that this person has a ‘crush’ on you.  Hypothetically.

Whaaaaaaa?

So what do you do– hypothetically speaking of course?

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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13 Responses to Bit of a Conundrum…

  1. Peter says:

    Hypothetically you’re a lucky bastard, CB! Twenty-one and drunk, the latter not a good idea. Maybe he needs a father-figure, hypothetically that is of course.

  2. Michael says:

    If you like him, I say have a chat with him when sober. It’s not like he’s gonna get it up while plastered anyway.

  3. joe says:

    Gearl?!?! You had a good day yesterday, your boss is gone for two days…Please tell me you posted this from your phone while enroute to crush his brush?

  4. Cubby says:

    Run baby, run!

  5. Howard says:

    Ahhh, that’s sweet.

    Run.

  6. Dustin says:

    I’m having a hard time making it past the hypothetical 70 year old of the hypothetical organization and hoping he or she is a hypothetical coach or something.

  7. Jim says:

    You do it. And you do it well.

  8. Blobby says:

    Hypothetically, I suppose you let him brush your hair. Or at least get the brush off you.

    Of course, hypothetically, one shouldn’t be doing, or knowing how to do, the ‘Single Ladies’ dance.

  9. The Mutant says:

    If the hypothetically the text would’ve been replied to already, right?

    You’re also missing the ‘reply advising that when he’s a little less intoxicated the issue can be discussed further’

    You never know, this hypothetical boy might charm the hypothetical socks off the hypothetical target (who isn’t yet middle-aged, thank you very much) and things may well go swimmingly.

  10. Zane says:

    Wait, he saw you do the single ladies dance and STILL has a crush of you????!!! yea, you ride that til it cannot be ridden again!!

  11. Kevin says:

    I’d have some fun with it…

    “So, what KIND of brush do you have on me?”

    While my first instinct is to say JUMP, POUNCE, SHRED said 21 year old to pieces, I’m curious as to the choice of words “is it sad..” Sad for whom, exactly?

    hypothetically.

  12. rg says:

    21 y/o’s have a great deal of stamina, or so I’ve been told.

  13. John says:

    Just remember to follow the campsite rule – leave it in as good or better condition than you found it.

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