I just love the word “derelict”.

Whenever I hear it (or use it) it conjures up visions from the movie Aliens– mainly because the word is used to describe the alien spacecraft a lot.

Ripley:  I already told you, it wasn’t indigenous.  It was a derelict spacecraft…an alien ship.  It was not from there.”

I also think about ghost ships on the high seas, all creaky and groany, shrouded by spooky mist (a la Scooby Doo Mysteries).

It’s such a deliciously descriptive word for me.  And I, for one, don’t think it’s used enough in daily conversation.

Today I’m using it to describe a car.

Well– a minivan, actually.

She’s beautiful, no?

In my parking garage, there are currently at least three derelict vehicles.  All are taking up valuable parking real estate (especially that fucking Volvo on the main level!)

Who abandons their car in a goddamn secure parking deck??

You have to pay for a special keypass to get into the deck, so at one point you must have cared about the welfare of your vehicle.

Or did you bribe someone or know someone who snuck you in?  (There are ways… trust me.)

But then you just abandon your car to go to shit?  Why?

Reposession concerns?  Income issues?  Stolen vehicle?

Sheer laziness???

I was forced to park next to the minivan last night.  It’s on the second level of the garage and usually has an open spot next to it as evidently nobody wants to park next to such a wreck.

Yup.  All four tires are like this.  This baby isn’t going anywhere.

Personally I think it’s about the safest place to park in the whole damn place.  Nobody is driving it (obviously) so you don’t have to worry about door dings or them hitting you while trying to back out.

In all honesty, however, the fucker needs to go.

But given it’s current condition– and it’slocation in a parking garage that is notoriously difficult to maneuver in– how the fuck would you tow it out?

I may or may not know the person responsible for the window art.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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7 Responses to Derelict

  1. A. Lewis says:

    You ought to check your building’s rules/restrictions. Our building does not permit cars that don’t run, are not licensed, and such.

  2. Gavin says:

    Funny. I’m a fan of the word, too, and always have Ripley in my mind.

  3. Princessa says:

    Lol people call me Derelict or is it Derek-Lick as in I can Dereklick my own balls…

  4. anne marie in philly says:

    naughty princessa!

    I second saint lewis…get ’em the F outta there!

  5. > Who abandons their car in a goddamn secure parking deck??

    A derelict?

  6. rg says:


  7. StevieB says:

    Oh! There’s my 1992 Mazda MPV. I’ve been looking for it. Man, funny how mini-vans just slip away from you.

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