Ok, so maybe he wasn’t greased up…
Yet.
Lately I’ve been becoming friends with the deaf guy from my gym (aka Marco). I think I’ve mentioned him before.
But recently our friendship has moved beyond the occasional chat in the sauna at the gym to an actual exchange of phone numbers.
For texting.
What a godsend cell phones with texting must be to the deaf community!
But back to the sauna…
My sign language is really improving, even if I only get to practice on him. And because he can read lips and verbalize (yes, he sounds like Marlee Matlin) we communicate fairly well.
Plus I’m learning all kinds of interesting signs, like: bitch, whore, motherfucker, lesbian and sling.
Don’t ask.
He’s very funny and we joke a lot. He was telling me about this old dude at the gym that hit on him by presenting his ass for him to ostensibly fuck. He was so grossed out but laughing while describing the horror.
I told him next time he should cover his eyes and say “I’m not listening!!”
He completely lost it and now wants to make that into a t-shirt design for the deaf.
Yeah, I’m cool like that.
In addition to joking and laughing, Marco is also somewhat (very) flirty.
Because you are all probably wondering, he’s 6’2″, fairly beefy, fairly cute, kanji tattoos and he’s Italian (ITALIAN Italian… from Florence).
He’s also an artist.
And apparently bisexual.
Well, really TRYsexual, as he vividly expressed his love of fucking. Whatever, whenever.
(And no, I haven’t seen the goods yet. He is always modestly in a swimsuit in the sauna. But to me it looks like he packin serious cargo.)
Anyway, as I said we have now moved into a texting relationship as well as a gym friendship. And this weekend he invited me to go out dancing with he and his lesbian friends.
To a gay bar, no less.
I didn’t go.
I know, I KNOW… I’m a party pooper. But I was tired on Saturday, I didn’t get the chance to nap, and I had a band concert on Sunday.
I just didn’t have the energy for drinking, dancing, and deafness.
I guess I missed a good time, though. He told me all about it in the sauna on Sunday. They were grooving til 3 am.
I promised him that next time I would go. No excuses.
Of course I’m gonna need to brush up on my signing first. First of all, his group of friends include deaf and hard of hearing folks.
And secondly, how DOES one sign “Take me home and turd burgle me, ya big Italian stallion”?
Mangina Monologues 
Old guy at the gym flirting? That’s me. Shh, don’t tell him.
You are as much of a whore as I am, shame on both of us.
What a great story! Keep us posted on the details. He sounds sexy and funny! Let me know where you go dancing. I might show up!
shocking you were talking about slings with him.
i am TOTALLY intrigued now. (also, i’m going to start using the expression “turd burgle” as often as possible, in casual conversation)
My favorite sign language cuss word is bullshit. With one hand you make bull horns with the pinky and pointy finger, cross your arms, and dangle your fingers downward on the other hand.
Turd Burgle? Really?
How about sexting? It could be the next step. There are numerous ASL videos online to practice with.
“I just didn’t have the energy for drinking, dancing, and deafness.”
That made my day….thank you.
I look forward to reading more about this. 😉
Pussy. I’m taking your gay membership card away.
OMG, with that description (6′2″, beefy, cute, tats, Italian, top) I would have said fuck the band concert and gone where ever that hard-of-hearing hottie wanted to go!! You better hope you get a 2nd chance.
He must like the vibrating cell phone, so text him that message! 😉
I’m captivated.
Want to hear – er, read more. And I’m so joining your gym.
[Mark in DE stop hatin’ on the “band” concerts! xoxo]
This is so exciting, cb! you and a deaf guy…whodathunkit?
if you need tips, i’m available, you know, having grown up immersed in deaf culture.
oh, and matthew, that ‘bullshit’ sign is kind of a deaf joke sign (which I agree is quite the spectacle!) The actual sign is just a closed fist with your pinky and index fingers extended. Like the headbanger rock out thing.
and cb…i believe the sign for “Take me home and turd burgle me, ya big Italian stallion” is pretty similar to the old guy at the gym–just present it.
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