… Electric Bugaloo.
Well, I saw the new Transformers movie last night. In IMAX no less.
My one sentence review?
(And now to expand on that review with only one teeny spoiler which I will warn you about ahead of time)
It was ok. 2 or maybe 2.5 stars out of 5. It’s very bombastic and loud. Both visually and aurally.
The movie sort of screams at your eyes for like 3 hours.
There is lots of robot-on-robot violence which is difficult to follow, mainly because of the sheer scale of it all.
The CGI is good. Really good.
But the plot and the writing? Bad. Really bad.
When it comes to sequels, I subscribe to the “Misery” principle. You can’t just wildly invent crap that wasn’t in the story before and be all stupidcrazy with it and expect it to fly.
“Misery was buried in the ground at the end, Paul, so you’ll just have to start there.”
I’m also a fan of the KISS principle. Keep it simple, stupid.
Without going into details, the plot of this movie simply has too much random shit in it.
And when you think they’re done adding shit, they throw in MORE shit.
It’s a bit ridiculous really.
And then there’s the plot holes and discontinuities.
At one point Shia and company need to reanimate a robot to help them read this old robot language. They find the robot–
— at the air and space museum in DC. He’s the old SR-71 spy plane.
Well, after magically reanimating him, he goes on a wee rampage and exits the building–
— and starts tearing up that old airplane graveyard in the desert.
In California or Nevada somewhere.
How the FUCK did everything go from the Air and Space museum in DC to fucking NEVADA by exiting a building?
Or are we simply supposed to think there have always been mountains and a desert in the nations Capitol?
And this was just one of MANY plot points that bothered me and completely disrupted my suspension of disbelief.
Then there were the racist Jar Jar bots. Seriously. Michael Bay should have hired at least ONE black person to vet this shit.
Lastly there was Megan Fox. She goes through hell and STILL somehow maintains perfectly glossed and colored lips.
Which she uses on Shia. Why???
That just took more suspension of disbelief than I was capable of.
My recommendations? See it, but at a matinee. And I’m not sure the IMAX cost was worth it.