I got tagged for a meme- 6 random things about me. And seeing as I’m a bit thin on ideas right before the celebration of our blessed saviours birth… I’ll do it.
#1) I have never bleached my asshole. Hell, I wouldn’t even know how, although I’m certain some sort of peroxide is involved. And no, Kyle did NOT get me a bleaching kit. Now, if garnisr fructise starts making one…
#2) I just tried braunschweiger for the first time… And loved it!! A neighbor had a “livercheese ball” and damn if that shit wasn’t tasty!!
#3) I have a teddybear named Preston who sleeps with me every night. And when I have sex I have to put him under the bed so he can’t watch. It’s the eyes– can’t stand them watching…all cold and judgementa-likel…
#4) I hate milk, yet love yogurt, cheese, and ice cream. Just the thought of milk-even with chocolate cake- makes me gag.
#5) if I could be anything in the world, I’d want to be a comedic movie actor.
#6) When i was little, I used to masturbate behind the altar at my church when my mom had handbell practice. It just felt naughtier, which in turn felt better.
Mangina Monologues 
I’m not sure if #6 or #2 surprises me more….
A little disappointed about the bleached asshole thing, but Merry X’mas to you anyway. 🙂
#6 explains why you keep changing the Santa blocks at your mom’s house to Satan blocks when you visit for Christmas.
Does #6 cause you to go blind faster?
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm braunschweiger. There aren’t too many of us out there that admit to liking the stuff.
Beating it at church, behind the altar, has got to be the best tug ever……I now have a new mission in life.
Braunschweiger on rye with onions and mustard is the food of the gods! Honestly, I think I would have been more surprised if you told me you hadn’t whacked off in church.
Merry Christmas, CB!
Yes, your path to the dark side is almost complete. Now you must taste the Head Cheese and Souse loaf and your training in the dark side of the Deli will be complete. Bwaaa Haa Haaa Haaa!
By the way… If you ever EVER ask someone who works at a deli to slice the Braunschweiger THIN… a pox will be cast upon your family… You CANNOT slice Braunschweiger thin… it smears across the slicer at about the same consistency I imagine wet shit would.
Um, yeah…about the whole bleaching your asshole thing…may I ask why anyone would do that?
have to say… of all the folks I tagged to do this… these are the most… different… answers.
you ARE going to hell, but I’m sure you knew that 🙂
Bravo on number six. That’s classic stuff. I wonder if they noticed the buildup on that side of the altar.
As to asshole bleaching, never saw the need for that kind of stuff myself.