He’s My Number One Fan…

Have any of you ever been recognized by someone in a public venue, and then discover the reason they recognized you was because they read your blog?? Yeah, me neither.

Until last night, that is.

So, I’m at the Eagle enjoying the 3-4-1 Happy Hour when suddenly this guy comes up to me all smiling. This is a paraphrase of the conversation as I remember it:

Stalker Guy: “Are YOU cb??

cb: erm…

SG: Of the “Mangina Monologues?”

cb: Why, yes I am.

SG: I was standing with my friends when you walked by and I said, “Oh my God- I think that’s cb! He writes this blog– I have to go talk to him!” I recognized your D&G glasses!

cb: Cool- well, it’s…

SG: Loved your post on Cell Phone Etiquette… and the snarky post today!

cb: Wow, so you do read it! I’m glad you…

SG: I read your blog every morning to start my day! I also read Kyle’s too! But I’m your number one fan…

And then he started twirling around screaming “Misery’s ALIVE! Misery’s ALIVE!!!

(There’s that damn snarky one-liner business again!)

Actually Matt (I hope this is his name– I HAD had a few beers) was a very nice guy. He even let me take his pic which I fully disclosed was going on the blog along with this story:

This is Matt being all cheeky. Sorry about the Cybill Shepard haze effect. This was taken with my iPhone and out on the smoker’s patio.

And he really wasn’t very stalkerish at all; I made that up. It was actually fun and rather flattering to meet someone who actually reads and enjoys my blog and was heretofor unknown to me. And this fucker REALLY reads the blog too.

We talked about the fact that I cut my own hair. He asked about my fold-upable bike. It was like running into a good friend, but a good friend that I knew absolutely nothing about.

It was completely ego-inflating yet marginally creepy at the same time.

It was also a bit unfathomable, as I get like maybe 400 visits to my blog on a daily basis. And that’s on a good day. And these 400 people are scattered about the globe. And then to have one of them turn up at a bar that I semi-frequent…

Small world huh?

Either that or he is a stalker. And if he is, he wouldn’t be my first. I’ve gotten rid of two stalkers before and I can do it again. I’m not sayin’ Mr. Matt… I’m just sayin’.


Matt (hopefully your name so the police will have an easier time finding you with the above photo), it was lovely to meet you and your friends at the bar. I will definitely say hi to you whenever I see you from now on.

And because you are going to be reading this, I do have a request. PLEASE DON’T HOBBLE ME! I really have very delicate ankles. Plus then I’ll never tell you if Ian and Windthorne finally get together in the last chapter.

And would it kill you to leave comment once in a while??

Update:  Dear Mr. Police Officers– apparently his name is “Alex” not Matt.  Sorry about that.

About cb

Nickname: Munt Measurements: 45 B, 34, 38(?) Ambition: to be the best human ever! Turn ons: long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, porn, rainbows, cock Turn offs: bad smell face, men who are full of themselves, dead puppies, popcorn, sadness
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22 Responses to He’s My Number One Fan…

  1. John says:

    The celebutante comes out!

  2. Gavin says:

    Our little cb is a celebrity!

  3. Howard says:

    Very cool and he’s a little cutie.

  4. RG says:

    Yeah, yeah – but did you do him?

  5. dirkmancuso says:

    Your very own groupie (and a cute one at that!)

    I’m so incredibly jealous at this moment…

  6. Alex (not Matt) in Mpls says:

    I made the blog! I’m so excited I could pee! It was great meeting you – I’m sure I’ll see you around again sometime soon. Hope I didn’t creep you out TOO much!


  7. Kelly Stern says:

    awwww… he is a cutie!! next time you have to buy him a beer for getting his name wrong… tee hee…

  8. Chris says:

    wheee, I’m jealous, you’re very own stalker. You’ll have to let him blow you for getting your name wrong…

  9. bstewart23 says:

    Adorbs. Both of you.

  10. Ron says:


  11. bstewart23 says:

    Did you leave any puking out of this story? Because puking is my favourite.

  12. romach says:

    Mmmmmm I hope I can bump into you like that one day when I am in the states! Although I think I would just walk up to you and grab you and suck your lungs out! I can be a lil forward 😉

  13. Rich says:

    You have your very own stalker-potential fan base. You have arrived, CB.

  14. doreus says:

    I always wondered what it would feel like to meet someone who a) knows way more about you than you would them; b) you don’t know or only know through their web avatar anc c) would instantly make you feel like a celebrity. Strange when the blogosphere meets reality…

    Cute too.

  15. kyle says:

    for the record he’s my stalker. He approached me first. LOL

  16. Mark says:

    Way cool! I’d be super-psyched if that happened to me.

    Were you wearing your harness??? I mean, it WAS the Eagle, right?

    Mark 🙂

  17. RG says:

    It puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again!

  18. Alex says:

    Maybe it’s time for some designer SUNglasses so you can look the part of the coy celebrity. Ah, the price of fame…

  19. Josh in Minneapolis says:

    I was at the Eagle on Friday as well! Small world.

  20. J James says:

    I’ll be at the Eagle next Friday night…I’ll be sure to stalk you. 🙂

  21. Chris says:

    Well, if you’re going to have a stalker… may as well have a cute one. By the way Alex, you are forever to be known as Matt now. Whatever cb says in his blog is truth and must be accepted. Call your parents and let them know you’re legally changing your name.

    By the way… what kind of Eagle are you guys running up there in Minnesoooota? Matt/Alex is looking rather preppy boy toy in what should be a leather bar… unless you had on assless chaps below the camera shot… and then if you were, it still doesn’t go with the shirt.

  22. sammy25 says:

    You have one good looking stalker…nothing like kathy bates…LOL

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