“Why Won’t Tenacious D Die Already” part 2

Many moons ago (November 2006!) I did a post entitled “Why Won’t Tenacious D Die Already”.  It was a rant that I did after seeing them perform on some awards show or something.  I honestly don’t remember the reason- other than seeing them made my vision go red.

My original post was indeed harsh– but warranted given the abortion that is “Tenacious D”.  And truth be told, it still amuses me to read.  The post is short so feel free to read it, but if you aren’t so inclined let me shorthand it for you:

I absolutely detest Jack Black.

Can’t stand him.  Don’t find him funny.  Don’t for the life of me understand why he keeps getting roles in films.  And his band Tenacious D sucks bloody, pus-filled, hemmoroid ass.

That being said, I had blissfully forgotten about Tenacious D- and although Jack Black is still an employed actor (why???), the movies mostly seem to be tanking so I just mark them all as “Never See” and go on quietly living my life.

Until yesterday.

I got a comment from “Marcus” on my original post.  He was offended by my rant, which naturally gives me incredible fodder for today’s blog post.  I am posting his entire comment (in italics) and my repsonses (in bold).

You know your opinions don’t really represent majority right? Cause I get that impression from this rant.

Really?  Shocker.  But my opinions seemed to resonate with all the people who commented on the post before you did, so suck on THAT motherfucker!

Oh and in case you’re hoping, I’m not instantly adhering to this just because I don’t like the D myself.

While it’s gratifying that you don’t like “the D”,  let me reflect for a moment…. Nope.  Not hoping and don’t care.

So you don’t like them. Is it necessary to go for a pathetic attempt at humiliating them? What have they done to you? They’re just a band. Not a crime to be in a satirical rock band!

First of all, I wasn’t trying to humiliate them- I was merely exercising free speech in my corner of the blogisphere to the ten or so readers I had at that time.

Second, I really don’t think you can consider them a ‘band’– they’re really a less-masculine, pathologically unfunny, drag version of the Indigo Girls. 

Third, actually I DO think what Tenacious D perpetrates is a crime.  They assault people’s eyes, ears and intelligence.  And their incredible lameness makes baby Jesus cry. 

And also, your rant seems to move from a criticism of Tenacious D, to a criticism of JB and KG as individuals, and i felt that was really overboard.

What exactly was overboard?  The part about me thinking “KG” would be flipping burgers or ODing in a crack den if “JB” didn’t totally haul his fat, untalented boat-anchor of an ass around?  The part where I wanted to punch the Devil in the throat for continuing to promote “JB” in Hollywood?  Or the part where I would give God a big thumbs up if Tenacious D took a flight on “Buddy Holly Airlines” into a cornfield somewhere?

Just to clarify, I am not really a big fan of the D my self. I think their lyrics are very stupid and make no sense to me. I am not attempting to take a side here. I am not going to “the D sucks ass” or “the D rocks” point. I just do not like the way you attempt to express your dislike for the band. There are much better alternatives than post a random rant full of vulgarities for no reason. Maybe people would be less negative towards your thoughts if you actually bothered to try and rationalize your hate

Rationalize my hate??  WTF!  Perhaps you don’t fully comprehend why blogging really exists, so I will tell you.  Blogging is a means for average people to voice their harshest criticism in a public forum.  Its ALL about posting random rants full of vulgarities for no motherfucking reason.  And the beauty part of it is- if you don’t agree with it, you can click off the page, asshole!  Its not like you are being forced to read this shit.  Christ!  What did you have for breakfast yesterday, a big bowl of Communism?

Oh, and try reading the other comments next time.  You are the only one who has been “negative toward my thoughts” you dumbfuck.

If you really had nothing else to post about, I feel sad for you, because you have absolutely no life.

This comment coming from someone who evidently did a blog search for Tenacious D.

I hope you will stop making posts like this, for its just stupid, ill-organized and offensive to many fans of Tenacious D.

Yeah.  “The D”s legion of fans have been hate mailing me for years about this post.  When they aren’t attending the oh-so-numerous concert events that is. 

Peace
marcus

Suck on THIS piece, Marcus.