Because I am still feeling grody to the max, I figured I’d do a stream of consciousness list of more random shit about myself.
(seemed like a good idea a few minutes ago)
1. I’m a roller coaster person- even though I’m afraid of heights and the really tall first hills make my palms sweat profusely.
2. I like to attempt the New York Times crossword puzzle. I can do pretty well on them– up to about Thursday. Then it gets tricky for me.
3. I used to wipe boogers from my nose on the left hand side of the antique 3/4 size bed that I slept in until I was 14. I called it ‘the booger bank’.
4. I used to wipe my jizz on the left hand side of the fitted sheet/mattress. I thought I was being clever and that mom would think it was just snot. But when I think back on all the crusty sheets my poor mother must have peeled off that bed…
5. I’m a Coke person. I really don’t like Pepsi at all (I think it tastes of pool water) but will drink it in a pinch.
6. Sometimes I put tape on my face to contort my features into dorky shapes for my coworkers.
7. I have run 15K races before- although I don’t highly recommend it to anyone. The first one I ever did, I averaged 7:01 minute miles which for not being a runner and not really ‘training’ for it, I thought was pretty good.
8. I’m a slow reader– extremely slow. Its what hampered me in reading comprehension scores all through school. I would read and comprehend well, but I wouldn’t have enough time to answer the questions.
9. My bear category is “Wolter”. Half wolf, half otter. (because I swim)
10. I don’t bite my nails– unless I can’t get them started with my ‘pick and pull’ method. I hate using actual fingernail clippers.
11. I still think farts are funny– especially when you sneak them out in front of people (sorry Jim and Kyle).
12. The sound of shattering glass is my second favorite sound in the world. My first favorite sounds comes from gongs and/or large cymbals.
13. When I was little I used to fantasize about blowing things up– like the power substation near my house, or buildings or anything really. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt- I just liked seeing things get destroyed. I used to build things with my wooden blocks expressly to knock them down too.
14. I was afraid of storms until my 15th birthday- when there was a tremendous electrical storm. My family and I were driving home from dinner and when I started watching all the bolts striking everywhere, I became facinated and not scared.
15. I find a tastefully proportionate beer gut on a guy to be incredibly sexy. Plus then I don’t get so self-conscious about mine.
Mangina Monologues 
I haven’t used clippers in years. I exclusively pick-and-pull or bite-and-pull. (I don’t often use the latter for my feet.)
I don’t find a muscular guy attractive unless he’s also got a gut. There’s something gross about stomachs that look like the bottoms of egg cartons.
Now, THIS explains why you’re single. PSYCH! Just kidding. Quite interesting! Enjoy these:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/175084/the_farting_preacher/
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/198290/farting_preacher_2/
Mark 🙂
TMI, TMI!!!
on farts: good, I’m not alone. on some levels I still have the mind of a 9-year-old boy (and I bet he was glad to get rid of it) and a great ripping fart can send me comatose with laughter (e.g. the “hit me!” scene in the film “Fierce Creatures” had me going for about an hour; I couldn’t control it and the sadistic lil shit I was seeing at the time kept repeating it over and over til I was about to pass out).
ha! i knew almost all of these. i’m smart like that.
OMG… You really are kinda twisted! But in a good way (I think). 😉
The Booger Bank.
I think even I would’ve self edited that one.
This was a great post, CB! 🙂
If I send you a picture of my belly, will you tell me if it’s tastefully proportionate?